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syljoni · 2 months ago

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TAGGING ➝ @dannyssylvester, @syljoni

LOCATION ➝ Juicy Peach Gym

TIME FRAME ➝ 9/24. Evening

WARNINGS ➝ Mentions of kidnapping

NOTES ➝ Danny shows up at Juicy Peach to see Joni and tell her why he's been gone for so long.

Joni Sylvester

Joni hated being behind schedule and tonight was no exception, there were a couple of stragglers who had stayed after a class checking out the shop and she was grateful when they finally left and she could get started on closing up. She was behind the front desk and when she heard the door open again and looked up with a smile. “Hey! So sorry, we’re about to close!” She said in an upbeat tone. He looked somewhat familiar but definitely wasn’t a regular, and even the non regulars that came by less often she could usually place. “Were you looking for some information on joining?” She asked, reaching into a drawer for their brochures and holding one out to him. “I can give you a quick tour if you want, but like I said, we’re about to close so I’m afraid you’ll have to come back a different day if you want to register.”

Danny Sylvester

Danny hadn't exactly been stalking his siblings, but he had been keeping a very close eye on them since he'd moved to LA and maybe followed them around a little bit, but that's notstalking. Last time he'd seen Joni she was thirteen years old, not even in high school, so to see her now this beautiful woman who worked in, or possibly owned, this fitnesa place, he was so proud of her. Making sure that everyone had left for the night apart from his sister he quickly entered and waited for Joni's attention to be on him, a soft smile on his face. "Hey." He started, but then he was confused as she handed him a brochure and was trying to get him to leave. She didn't recognise him, his smile dropped a little bit, but he didn't blame her at all it had been a long time. He chuckled and shook his head. "Nope, just looking to talk to you." Stepping forward, he tried not to spook her. "Joni it's me. Danny. Your brother."

Joni Sylvester

She looked at him with confusion when he said he wanted to talk to her. It wasn’t insanely uncommon for people to recognize her and even hit on her in public from social media, but it was another for a man to come into her gym when she was alone at night. Still, she didn’t feel like she needed to be nervous, and instead found herself studying his face again, trying to place him. The last thing she expected to hear was exactly what he said next, though and she heard herself gasp and felt herself stepping forward to hug him before she truly processed what was happening. Joni stepped back quickly after hugging him, “Shit, I’m sorry - I didn’t mean to just jump on you like that.” She’s said, but a small laugh escaped her at the same time. “Danny?” She questioned, but now as she looked at him again, it was so obvious and she was embarrassed she hadn’t recognized him straight away. “I’m so sorry, I feel like an idiot you just- you look so grown up compare to how I remember you…What are you doing here?”

Danny Sylvester

He thought it might take her just a little longer to understand what was going on, so he was totally caught off guard when Joni hugged him, and he quickly wrapped his arms around her, laughing in relief. "No it's okay kid, it's cool." Danny let her take a step back, but he gripped onto her shoulders, holding her and arm's length. "Yeah. It's me Joni, I'm really here. And I'm sorry." He chuckled and shook her head. "It's okay, it's been a while huh? Guess I need a shave." And he ran a hand over his short beard. "Last time I saw you I don't think I even knew how to grow facial hair. And you were just a teenager." Danny gave her a squeeze and let go. "I'm here to see you. And the others. To explain where I've been and to apologize for being gone so long."

Joni Sylvester

Joni had always been an absolute softie when it came to her family, or anyone she loved, really. While anyone else she may have kept at a distance, her siblings were her whole world, even one who she hadn't seen in almost half of her life. She shook her head when he apologized, and pulled away from him, just long enough to step around him and lock the door to the gym and turn off the open sign, not wanting anyone else to interrupt them. Joni stepped into another hug with Danny, just incase he took off again, she wanted to remember him this time. "You look great," She added, taking in his features and committing them to memory. "You don't need to apologize to me, I'm just glad you're back, are you staying?" She asked hopefully, and then lead him to the back breakroom where there were some couches they could sit on and relax.

"Do you want anything to drink?" She asked, opening the fridge to grab herself a water before sitting down. She was itching to know why he'd left, but she also didn't want to rush him and wanted him to be comfortable when he told her.

Danny Sylvester

As his sister pulled away for a moment, Danny had a split second of worry that she might kick him out. But then she was just locking the door and he smiled at her as she came back. He hugged her a little tighter this time, not wanting to let his youngest sibling go. "So do you. You're a full ass grown up now. And I bet you're fucking killing it in life." Following her to the backroom he took a seat on the couch. "Yeah I'm staying. Been living here for like a month now, I just needed time to settle into a place and get a job before I spoke to you." Danny smiled softly at her and shook his head. "No I'm good right now thanks." He felt almost nervous as he sat here with her. Joni was the youngest of his siblings and he wasn't quite sure how she would take this news, or what her relationship with Sue was like since he had been gone. "I really am sorry I was gone. It might not seem like it, but I am."

Joni Sylvester

She smirked when he called her a grown up, "I wouldn't go that far, I still feel like a 13 year old sometimes, but I do own this place, so that's pretty cool." She said gesturing to the gym around them. Relief washed over her when he said he was staying and she nodded. Joni sat down next to him on the couch and let a sigh, "You don't have to be sorry, really. I missed you, but i'm just glad to have you here now. So, tell me," she prompted, motioning toward him, "you said you wanted to explain, I'm listening."

Danny Sylvester

He gave her a very impressed look and grinned brightly. "No fucking way. Good for you Joni." She was doing well for herself and he felt nothing but pride for her and how far she'd come, and she was still young. "Yeah I missed you too." Danny smiled sadly, and he meant it. He sighed heavily and ran a hand through his hair. "Look this is totally crazy and very hard to believe, but it is the truth I swear." Danny turned his body more to face his sister. "I've been gone so long because I found something out and I got mad at Sue and I left. I wasn't adopted like we all thought I was. Sue kidnapped me, and not only did she do that, but she kidnapped me from the Schuesters. Their little boy Daniel that they've been searching for all these years. That's me." He let the words sit between them for a moment, giving Joni time to process them

Joni Sylvester

She listened intently as Danny spoke, and let out a loud laugh when he was done. Joni shook her head, "No...That doesn't make any sense." She said, staring at him and waiting for the punchline, but the serious look on his face told her that he meant what he'd said. Sitting silently for a few minutes, Joni ran through so many possibilities in her mind, that he was messing with her, that he was mistaken, that ...anything other than that possibly being true. "I mean, Sue is kind of nuts, she's done some really messed up stuff but...kidnapping a baby?" Joni finally said, shaking her head. There was no way, right? She felt her face getting hot, tears threatening to escape her stinging eyes and her mind tried to process what her brother was saying. She didn't know what to believe, "How did you find out?"

Danny Sylvester

Danny just let Joni go through all the emotions, sitting there in silence as he watched her. "It's true." As he saw some tears forming he moved forward and wrapped an arm around his sister. "Hey, hey, none of that yeah? It's okay, I'm here now." He rubbed her back gently and sighed. "I needed my birth certificate for something. Let myself into Sue's room but I couldn't find it, instead I found paper work and different things about me and her bribing people to keep it quiet." A small laugh escaped his mouth. "It's totally crazy right? It doesn't sound real at all, but it is. She found me and I told her to tell me the truth and she did. And then I left." He rested his head against hers. "I don't exactly regret leaving, but I regret the way that I did it. I should have kept in contact."

Joni Sylvester

She couldn’t seem to wrap her mind around any of this, it didn’t seem real. She chose to just plow through, assuming it was real just until she could process it. It felt good to be comforted by her big brother, despite all of the craziness of the situation. “Where did you go?” She finally asked, “I mean, where have you been all this time? Do the Schuester’s know?” Her mother had yet to be thrown in jail so she had to assume they didn’t. “What the fuck? What are we supposed to do with this? What…where do we go from here?”

Danny Sylvester

He hesitated on his reply, giving her a sad smile. "I was around, had to keep moving cities or towns... I kind of got arrested a few times. So I moved about so people didn't know me and judge me. I was in Vegas before I moved back here." Frowning, he shook his head. "No they don't. But I want to tell them, they deserve to know." Danny rubbed at his tired eyes, so many words and plans and answers swimming around in his head. "I don't know." He was very reluctant to share his plan to tear Sue down to Joni, not sure how close they were now his sister was an adult. "I just needed to see you guys before I made a decision."

Joni Sylvester

She nodded as he spoke, her heart breaking when he said he’d been arrested a few times. All she wanted in this moment was to take away any of his suffering. “Oh, Danny…” she whispered, cradling his face in her hand before pulling him in for another hug. It scared her to think about him telling his real parents who he was, but she also knew that he was right and they deserved to know. Joni knew her mom was crazy and the things she did were beyond belief on so many occasions, but Sue was still her mom and she didn’t want to see her thrown in jail, even if she did belong there for literally kidnapping a baby, but there was also the matter of Robin still being a child and her mom going to jail would be traumatic. “I…I don’t know what to say. I can’t imagine the pain they’ve suffered all these years. I can imagine Mom relishing in causing it though.” Joni shook her head, “Whatever you decide to do, I’m with you, okay?”

Danny Sylvester

Danny was surprised that she was hugging him again, but he pulled her in close, closing his eyes as he held her tight. "I missed you Joni." He'd make it up to them, all of his siblings. Years and years of missed birthdays, Christmases, graduations, a wedding, he should have been there for all of them. "I'm going to be staying with Penny so I'll be around, a lot." He shook his head as he thought about the Schuesters. "They need to know, I mean they probably won't believe me, but I have to try." Then he sighed loudly. "It's just everything that will happen afterwards though. I don't want anything bad to happen to you guys, I didn't come back to hurt you guys." He then looks down at the floor. "Pen says that Sue's got another kid? I can't let anything bad happen to her either. That's not fair."

Joni Sylvester

"I missed you, too." She said, covering the sadness in her voice, hoping not to let it show too much. "Okay, good. I will be bothering you at Penny's constantly, then." Joni nodded when he siad the needed to know, deciding it maybe wasn't the time that prooving it would probably be pretty easy with a blood test, but then she wouldn't blame them if they worried this was some elaborate scheme by Sue to trick them into thinking Danny was their son and wanted nothing to do with it. She stayed quiet, though. This was Danny's business and he needed to handle it however he felt was right and didn't need her putting doubts in his head, or encouraging him one way or another. "Yeah, Robin." She agreed, and frowned, "I get what you're saying but you were kidnapped as a baby from loving parents, those parents have been hurt so much and they're still hurting. Maybe being raised by a literal kidnapper is the bad thing that's already happening to her." Joni offered, wanting to show her support for whatever decision he made.

Danny Sylvester

He chuckled at her comment but was glad that he and Joni's relationship would be getting back to normal pretty quickly. "Sure you can bother me there or I can bother you here or at your place." At least if everything went wrong with the Schuesters then he'd still have his siblings on his side. And Joni was taking this pretty well so that was good. Danny listened to his sister's words carefully and nodded slowly. "But then what? Sue goes to jail but what happens to the kid? Penny can't take her in, or any of you, she needs extra care." There was a part in the back of his mind that was telling him that he shouldn't care about some kid who has nothing to do with him, but he just couldn't ignore it or her, she was still technically his sister. Danny gave Joni one last squeeze and smiled softly at her. "Thanks kid, it means a lot that you're on my side. Not gonna lie, I was worried."

Joni Sylvester

It wasn't that Danny was wrong about anything he was saying, but the consequences of Sue's actions weren't the responsibility of her kids, and it didn't change the fact that Will and Emma deserved to have peace and know that their child was ...at least alive. "That's a bridge we'll all cross together when we come to it, okay? You're not responsible for that." She assured him. "You don't ever have to worry about that with me, okay? Unless you turn into Sue or something...then I might turn on you."

#psudanny #ftf: danny 001 #ftf: danny #ftf: all #ftf: 002 #danny: all

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jerzwriter · 2 years ago

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A Louise ask since we are in the year of the 30th anniversary of her walking out

This is is for both E/K and Tobias/Casey worlds as I am genuinely curious if there is any difference.

1. Does Ethan ignore the day or remember what happens?

2. Canonically he has a lot of anger in him, and sadness, when Louise comes back, and I presumed hear her apology for what she did, does that help heal some of the anger.

3. Does Ethan embark on any other healing?

And a DTI bonus question

Which anniversary hurts more, the one when she originally walked out or the second time?

Hey Tash, thank you for the ask! I love this because I have not worked on much of an HC for Louise, and I need to.

This is so ironic because I just had this conversation with someone. In my family, everyone remembers awful days... days people died, days we got bad news and significant bad days. I don't. In fact, I dislike when I see their posts about it on social media. I really believe in remembering the good and not focusing on the bad. I can really see Ethan following the frame of thought, particularly about not focusing on the bad. I'm sure he doesn't even think of it on the date, and if you asked him, he'd tell you the month but not even remember the day.

2. Yes, absolutely. Ethan never got closure, and regardless of his decision about his mother and their future, seeing her again, and hearing her apology would help give that to him. Ethan, like most children, saw his mother in an idealized light, even though she was far from perfect. Seeing her now, and realizing how broken she is, helps him understand, REALLY understand, that it wasn't his fault, it wasn't Alan's fault, and, to a degree, it wasn't even Louise's fault.

3. For the first two questions, I would say it was the same in both E/K and T/C worlds. Here, I think there is a difference. In E/K world, he'd begin therapy and truly heal. Partially because Kaycee really pushes for it and partially because he realizes to have a truly healthy relationship with her, which he wants very much, he needs to heel. In the T/C world, Casey is his friend. She cares about him, and she encourages him. When he and Tobias mend fences, Tobias mentions it too, but Ethan's adamant he's fine. He's not totally wrong, he definitely needs more help, but he is doing better. In this world I think Ethan would go to counseling in time, on his own volition, but probably wouldn't stick with it too long.

DTI Ask:

I'll defer to my first question. I don't think he gives either of those anniversaries any thought. First off, I really don't think men are wired to focus on anniversaries. They tend to be less important to them. And I think his thoughts are, why do I even want to remember the date?

In DTI, when he had a conversation with Louise and told her goodbye, he had made his peace. His chapter with Louise was closed, and he got everything he needed to move forward. He isn't going to spend a lot of time thinking of her, he's going to focus on what he has.

Thanks for the ask, Tash!

#ethan ramsey #louise ramsey #asks answered

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procalpal · 3 months ago

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1 September 2024 | Sunday

Start: 8:30AM

Breakfast (10:30AM)

A bowl of chia (15g) and lite soy milk (45g) with some water to help the chias soften. For sweetness, some honey (5g)

A cup of instant coffee, but iced.

Cal: 175 | Protein: 4.03g

Thoughts: I feel extreme guilt for the purge that occurred the night before. But it's a new month, a new season and today will be the start. Start now, before it's too late. The exhaustion that is inevitable is a factor I strive to avoid during this change. I understand that low calorie diets are harmful and working full time will affect me drastically. I am prepared. I understand the consequences but I won't skip out on meals during the week. I will eat moderately and control any sugar cravings. Weekends I will allow a sugar treat, as I usually do. Today is my cafe day, I will read Emma (Jane Austen) at my favourite cafe, go thrifting for some office attire and return home to continue my house cleaning.

Lunch (2:00PM)

Protein banana pancakes. Consisting of a banana (120g), an egg, vanilla protein powder (15g), cinnamon (2g).

A cup of tea with honey (5g) and lite soy milk (20ml)

Cal: 306 | Protein: 20.9

Thoughts: Due to the fact that it’s now Father’s Day, I figured that it would be too busy to walk around the city. I have stayed home and attempted to busying myself watching Gilmore Girls, organising my week and washing my clothes. I foresee a quieter weekend next week and shall complete my needs to get matcha a different day. The pancakes may not look appetising but I swear by this recipe. It’s sweet, full of protein and an amazing alternative to normal pancakes. I have eaten this almost every day.

Snack (3:08PM)

Rice cakes (2 slices), cottage cheese (30g) and cucumber (28g)

Cal: 77 | Protein: 5.4g

Dinner (6:33PM)

Salad consisting of cucumber (67g), mushrooms (34g), tomato (68g) lemon juice (7ml), tuna in springwater (38g).

On the side, I had some strawberries (57g) and light greek yoghurt (42g).

Cal: 129 | Protein: 14g

Thoughts: Dinner was light, and having the snack in between assisted in reducing the hunger I felt after lunch. With 512 calories still available, I'm not sure what else I really feel inclined to eat. A good sign in retrospect, but I also would prefer to have some more food to eat in order to avoid bingeing tomorrow. I don't feel hungry and the documentation of the foods that I consume assist in the restriction of eating unwanted processed foods. Such that a public account holds me accountable for my actions. Tomorrow I will weigh myself. But I have not thought about whether this should be a daily occurrence or weekly, or even every few days. I have completed my weekly grocery shopping, and am looking forwards to seeing where this new medium will take me.

Snack (7:30PM)

A bowl of kimchi (75g) and two slices of rice cakes.

A cup of black tea, with lite soy milk (20ml) and some honey to sweeten it up (5g)

Cal: 57 | Protein: 2g

Total calories: 754 (Goal 1200)

Total protein: 47g

Thoughts: there's a lot that pass through my brain throughout the day. On my darker days, numbers are forever floating around. But today, I was okay. Maybe because my binge yesterday had something to do with it. I don't know. But I do feel a slight change in attitude, that I don't want to do this extremely unhealthily. The weight change is still a goal, but I want it to happen gradually. For those around me to not have to worry or think that I'm mentally ill. Towards the end of today, until now as I am writing this, a sudden darkness did pass over, a feeling of loneliness. Maybe I made the wrong decision of packing my bags, and moving to a new city. Everyone that I know 8 and a half hours away from me (driving). I do have friends here, but things are not the same. Facetimes, calls, letters, social media, all of those supposedly helpful creations for long distance is just not cutting it out for me anymore. Maybe because it's my sister's birthday as well as Father's Day, I miss them most. I long to be in a loud home again, filled with laughter, memories and warmth. Yet, I am here. Alone. Cold and with no memories of the happy days lingering. But alas, this is my choice. I need to make friends, and not shut them out.

Sleep: 9:00PM

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princess-of-the-corner · 1 month ago

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elaborating because I can't sleep:

Okay so. Inko. Early 20s I've already gone over how the Dad for One situation happens. Yadda yadda.

Eventually tells her family and it's. There's the whole Reputation thing. The neighbors will talk! It's so improper! So on and so forth.

They give her two options, both of which are covers. Either secret abortion they never talk about, or she tracks down the baby daddy for a shotgun wedding and pass it off as 'oh yep totally got pregnant /after/ the wedding haha...."

Inko already tried finding the hookup to no avail so the latter is out. She also refuses to get rid of the baby. Not for pro-life reasons she understands if other women feel that way but while it's unplanned and gonna be rough this baby is hers damn it.

Leads to a big fight that's like. It's not outright disowning but it's threatened and they don't entirely plan to go through with it because they think she'll crumble, but she's like 'fine fuck you I'll leave' and it's. They kinda expect to take a few days to cool off but.....

Inko is shook but not entirely worried because she was mostly independent at this point. There's less to fall back on ofc but ya know. She can make it on her own if needed.

Her parents pretty immediately regret when they realize she's sticking to cutting them off. They try to keep an eye on her but lose contact entirely sometime between her moving, getting married to Hisashi, dropping off social media due to taking care or newborn!Izuku, etc.

Inko's too busy to ever think about trying to contact them, and they're kinda like. They keep expecting her to do it because she was nicer, sweeter, more forgiving. And even though they do come to a realization of not just 'oh no we lost our daughter and also a grandbaby' but 'how could we have ever put the idea of 'reputation' above our family?!, there's no real 'right' way to reach out and as more years pass it's harder to do so.

So fast forward quite a bit to sometime post-Canon. (Izuku's probably around 17-ish?)

Given everything I don't think they'd reach out unless something prompts them. Like one of them is dying and it's a 'hey I don't wanna kick the bucket with that regret hanging on me' thing.

But they don't know what Inko has been up to since way back when. They assume some things. She had the kid, finished her degree/started work. So on and so forth.

They don't know about Izuku. They know the child exists, but they don't know his name or gender or what he looks like. On the news when *gestures to the war* all that was happening, his Hero Name was used more often than his real name, though even if they heard it well. People can have the same last name and not be related. And while Izuku looks like Inko, sometimes the differences are highlighted more.

Also at this point Inko is dating All Might and they have no idea about that either (girl is good at avoiding the spotlight)

So when they first show up Inko is sus that it's a 'oh so now I'm worth something?' deal. But no they have no idea they're just genuinely remorseful for what happened.

ofc telling them is such a mess like 'the FUCK do you mean your kid ended a war and also you're dating ALL MIGHT??"

okay elaborating on my tags re: the bnha and family drama post because I was once again thinking about Izuku and Inko and how it's just them Izuku doesn't seem to have any grandparents and in Canon Izuku's dad is in limbo and ofc in CC we have both the Dad for One situation and the 'Hisashi is a fucker' situation.

But I was thinking more on Inko's family and like. Ya know what I don't wanna kill them there are far too many orphans in this series but I want to have a reason that Inko's not in contact with them and

tbh getting pregnant without being married is something young women can get disowned for. Especially if there's no chance to shotgun the wedding.

Debating on if there's ever reconciliation but if there is then it's funny as fuck because there's no way Inko's parents know what she's been up since they last talked to her so they're like ??????

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cancerjupiter · 4 years ago

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astrology notes: mars (pt. 1)

mars in aries

at home in its own sign, you’re very sure about its desires. passions burn brightly, and you know exactly who and what you want. being cardinal, mars in aries likes to take the initiative, and does tend to rush at people in a way that can be quite intimidating to those who like to make decisions more slowly. the person with mars in Aries is excited by the pursuit, however, so rejections and evasions only serve to fuel the fire. finding it hard to admit defeat, they cannot believe that they won't get what they want, and will see the slightest ambiguity as grounds for optimism. the mars in aries does have a tendency to enjoy the chase more than the end result, so that they often lose interest in people once they have have them. they are then likely to run away just as fast as they were pursuing before :/ someone who wants to retain the interest of this person will need to remain always a little elusive.

people with mars in aries feel energized by sexual desire - even if it is not fulfilled, it will make them feel more vital and alive. very intuitive and trusting to instinct and gut reactions, they know exactly what is right for them, and will not compromise. they either desire people or not, the second they meet them: there is no uncertainty or doubt with them. the person with this mars often appears much more confident than they feel, and may tend to look for an identity through their lovers, and try to prove themselves through sex. these people may go to great lengths to prove how independent they are, when they are really trying to define themselves through action. sex, therefore, to these people can assume huge symbolic significance; and they may invest the object of their desire with almost mystical status. they are searching for a hero to fire and inspire them, to help them discover the hero within. to this end, they may have to go on a long and lonely journey, facing many difficulties and rejections before they become the truly independent individual they need to be. life holds many hard lessons for people with mars in aries. they step into each new sexual involvement with careless impulsiveness, naively believing that this one will be much easier than the last, and forgetting that aries must pit itself against adversity in order to develop strength and self-reliance.

these people are attracted to sharply defined individuals of strong character. they enjoy a certain amount of combativeness and competition with their sexual partners, and are often quite sharp and argumentative with those they find attractive. sexual desire strirs up anger for them; and they often feel safer expressing anger to lovers than to anyone else. it is important to them that the other person is strong enough to handle this, and can give as good as they get. there is a need for the lover to be of equal strength, and they will feel irritated by someone who gives in to them all the time, and will soon lose interest in such a person. they cannot be pushed into things themselves, and tend to despise those who can. although they may be critical of their lovers themselves, they will fight ferociously to defend them against anyone else who dares to attack their loved ones.

honest, open and direct, mars in aries likes to let their potential lovers know exactly how they feel. it’s important to them that things are straight-forward and that there is no confusion. they in turn like to know exactly where they stand, and cannot bear any form of deception. they have romantic ideals about sex, and need to be true to themselves, so that the pretence involved in having sex with someone that they do not really want or when they do not want it can be very disturbing to them. mars in aries is not really looking for physical sensation, but rather for some kind of spiritual fulfillment through sex. these people seek spiritually unity, a fusing and oneness with their lover which transcends the physical act. through it, they hope to experience a moment of bliss in which they have abandoned separateness and become one with their lover.

mars in taurus

someone with this placement will have a good connection to their instinctual, physical needs. this will be a strong, no-nonsense person with a matter of fact attitude towards sex; someone who gets enormous enjoyment from their sexual relationships, and with wide tastes. these people could be into sex for its own sake, as pure physical pleasure, with no trimmings. they are comfortable with their own bodies and physical desires. more gentle types could find them too careless and direct.

with mars in any of the earth signs, there is the propensity to split love and sex; but someone with mars in taurus is most prone to this, simply because their desire nature is so strong. these are not people who can easily be celibate, so if there is no-one in their lives who really matters to them, they are still going to look for sexual partners. they may have a pragmatic view of these liaisons, unaware of their own double standards, as when they are deeply involved with someone on a feeling level their values change dramatically.

taurus is arguably the most possessive sign of the zodiac, and someone with mars in it may claim total ownership rights over their sexual partner. this differs from the emotional possessiveness of someone with mars in scorpio, as with taurus the partner becomes a prized object (trophy wife) in which they invest a part of themselves. infidelity is so completely threatening to these people that it is intolerable (though they may be cheaters themselves lol). they will value their partners highly, treat them as a possession, as an extension of themselves, and expect and demand absolute faithfulness. to say that they are jealous and possessive of loved ones is an understatement.

this is a very primitive mars placement; we are dealing with a neolithic person here. we’re in 2020 and the rest of the world developed more liberated attitudes to relationships, but they’re not easily filtered through to a mars in taurus person. this is someone who has traditional expectations and is likely to want to play a traditional role in relationships. they will build a relationship slowly, not one to rush into things, and will take their time to get to know a prospective partner. a sexual involvement does not necessarily mean to them that a relationship is underway. they will evaluate a potential relationship in a pragmatic way. once involved, they are loyal and reliable, and are not afraid of making a commitment. they are at their best when in a secure relationship.

mars in gemini

gemini is the most restless of all the air signs; and people with mars here can barely remain still for a minute. they are constantly on the go, moving from place to place and person to person. finding it hard to survive for long without talking, if they cannot actually be with people they will want to be on the phone.they’re likely social media addicted and will find it really hard to concentrate their desire on one person, as sex to them may simply be a way into a friendship. in this way, these people are frequently starting new sexual relationships only to cool off almost immediately. this tends to make their relationships very complicated, when they want to continue on a friendship-only/friends w benefits basis, but the other person sees it as a sexual partnership. no one is more evasive than the mars in gemini person; and it is almost impossible to pin them down. their desires change from moment to moment, which makes it very difficult for them to commit themselves to any one person. because sex and companionship are so closely linked for them, being sexually faithful feels like only being allowed to talk to one person - a fate they find it hard to contemplate. besides, their attitude to sex tends to be rather lighthearted and playful, and so they cannot understand why others should get so heavy and possessive about it.

they are attracted to lively, exciting people who are fun to be with, and often younger people. mars in gemini people are not very interested in physical beauty, but are excited by a lively mind and sharp sense of humour. they may get very argumentative when they are attracted to someone, and will enjoy it if the person responds in kind. i noticed they’re turned on by arguing, as if it’s a form of courtship to them, and like to chat and joke through sex itself.

as gemini is intensely curious, they’re likely to wonder exactly what sex would be like with each person they meet, and to get a great deal of pleasure from speculating on this or just talking about sex. these people are tremendous flirts, as for them flirting can be a kind of verbal intercourse which is an end in itself. this can be very confusing to who they talk to, for they may believe that they’re being offered something that just isn't there and has no way of knowing that what they’re taking part in is not a prelude to sex but an alternative to it. crazy. the duality of gemini also means that there is a side of these people that wants much more than this casual, superficial pleasure which leaves them feeling deeply dissatisfied. deep inside, there is a part of them that craves profound and meaningful connections; and sex for them can be a form of communication that goes much deeper than words. for mars in gemini people, it's essential that their sexual partner is also a friend who will listen to them and talk to them. in order for them to feel truly desired, they have to be wanted as a person and a friend rather than just for sex.

mars in cancer

someone with this mars is going to move cautiously wherever failure and rejection are a possibility. like the crab, these people will never approach their objective head-on. they will act carefully and pay attention to what kind of response they’re eliciting. in relationships, they will not want to risk rejection, and will often not make a move unless sure of being accepted. these people will use their sensitivity to the non-verbal signals to judge how safe it is before risking a refusal. however, cancer is a cardinal sign, so despite their self-protectiveness they can and will initiate. when they feel emotionally secure, either because the external situation is non threatening or from an inner security established within themselves, they can act passionately and powerfully.

this is a sexually passionate placement with deep and intense needs for emotional safety within a relationship. people with mars in cancer are particularly likely to want sexual contact to reassure them that they are wanted, although this need to be wanted extends beyond the sexual and will permeate their whole life. they may try to make themselves indispenable to others so that they will never be abandoned. in sexual relationships, they need to feel they belong, to feel protected and secure, and will in turn offer a sense of protection and containment to their partner.

mars in cancer will often mother their partner and want mothering themselves. they enjoy taking care of others, both physically and emotionally. they are likely to be gentle, kindly and sympathetic. they will recognize and value the deeper exchanges of a sexual union and the bonds that exist on a feeling level. these people are likely to be possessive and to expect their partner to be completely faithful, though they will not necessarily apply this same standard to themselves. however, they will remain faithful if their infidelity threatens their security or violates their feeling of belonging to someone else.

mars in leo

you desires with passionate intensity; and, like mars in aries, tends to attribute mythical qualities to those you want. you people are looking for someone larger than life, whom you can truly admire; and because of this you tend to expect a great deal from their lovers. mars in leos are prone to serial monogamy, falling passionately in love with someone who seems to embody all the qualities they want. during this phase, they will see the lover as perfect, and will be arresting in their praise. they will devote all their energy and attention to pleasing this person until the imperfections begin to appear. then they begin to feel angry and cheated as though the lover has deliberately set out to deceive them and let them down. the tendency then is to be very critical and see only the bad whereas before they had seen only the good.

people with mars in leo like to dramatize, so they will tend to draw a lot of people in to sympathize with their disappointment. they are proud and unyielding, so this pattern tends to be repeated many times before they are able to stop blaming others and see how fixed and unrealistic expectations bring about their own disappointment. for them, sex is generally one of life's pleasures. they give a great deal of attention to setting the scene and creating the right atmosphere. their bedroom will be the most important room in the home, and will likely be beautifully decorated in rich, romantic colours.

sex is an important performance to them; and they like everything to be exactly right. it’s like staging the first night of a play; and great care is taken to ensure success. they know exactly what pleases people and enjoy giving pleasure, always bearing in mind that sex should be entertaining. they are generous with compliments and attention, and are able to make their partner feel really prized. because their self-esteem is bound up with sex, mars in leo people can be very sensitive to criticism and rejection. there is a strong tendency to feel that they have to put on a great performance in order to prove that they are better lovers than anyone else; and this can rob them of some of their natural spontaneity. when they trust their instincts, they have an intuitive knowledge of what is pleasurable; and this, together with their warmth and enthusiasm, can make them great lovers.

people with mars in leo are attracted to success. they tend to look to their sexual partners to confirm their identity and enhance their status, so that achievement, wealth and fame are all things that turn them on. they like the good life and enjoy luxury, so someone who can offer these things is likely to seem very attractive to them; and they also get great pleasure from sharing their own good fortune. they have a great capacity for enjoying life. these people's pleasures are very important to them, so it is vital to them that their lovers have a sense of fun and are able to share these pleasures with them. they will quickly lose interest in someone who lacks a strong appetite for life/with a negative mindset.

mars in leo people can be very arrogant and high-handed at times. their belief that they are a law unto themselves can create a lot of conflict, drama and heartbreak in their relationships. they find it difficult to back down once they have taken a stand, and they may rather end a relationship rather than admit they are wrong. touchy and easily hurt, they feel humiliated by rejection, and tend to need constant reassurance of their desirability. neing belittled or made fun of feels like death to the them; and anyone who does this will kill off any desire immediately. in order for a relationship to flourish, this person needs to feel appreciated and respected; and their partner must be attentive and generous with praise and encouragement. if these things are not forthcoming, the mars in leo will feel unwanted and turned off. to them, sex is life-giving and vital to their sense of identity. these people are seeking to discover their own uniqueness through it, and so put themselves wholeheartedly into it. it’s a creative act for them; and they need to feel proud of what they do. they are highly principled where sex is concerned, regarding faithfulness and loyalty as essential to a successful relationship.

mars in virgo

someone with this mars will be moderate and self-contained. they will have the sensual sensitivity that all the earth signs possess, but they will be reserved in expressing it. sex does not matter much to them. unlike mars in taurus, they have no desire in the abstract so they are quite capable of long periods of celibacy if there is no-one around that interests them. when in a new relationship, however, they will initially be very sexually active, trying to make up for previous abstinence.

while someone with mars in virgo still takes sensual pleasure in their body for its own sake and very into masturbation, this is tempered by a practical, matter-of-fact attitude to physical needs and desires. this is not someone who is easily drawn into the excesses of a mars in taurus; mars in virgo is far more circumspect and health-conscious. someone with mars in virgo will have considerable caution in getting involved in a relationship. they do not want to make a mistake, and will select a partner with care. in choosing, they seek to fulfil quite particular criteria. in extreme cases, a prospective partner may feel like a job applicant being measured against a detailed set of requirements to see if they’re is suitable for the position. virgo has a reputation for being choosy, fussy and critical; and for someone with mars here, they can bring all of this to bear in their approach to a sexual partner.

virgo is a very analytical sign, and mars in virgo can be analytical to an extreme. at their worst, these people will lose track of the inherent meaning in a situation, in trying to unravel and understand the detail. they can analyse a situation to death. more positively, they will always be prepared to talk about things and to try to undersatnd themselves and their partner. mars in virgos may want a partner who is useful, perhaps someone who helps out with practical or technical problems; and they may offer this to those they are involved with. joint ventures and activities will be an important part of their relationships.

#astrology #zodiac signs #mars #mars signs #aries mars #taurus mars #gemini mars #cancer mars #leo mars #virgo mars #maris in aries #mars in taurus #mars in gemini #mars in cancer #mars in leo #mars in virgo

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jungshookz · 4 years ago

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omg cee for a holiday drabble request can we get some shy!jungkook who’s had yn in his class all semester and is partnered up with her for a final project and he’s like !!!!!!!! AAAA!!!!!!!!!

➺ pairing; jeon jungkook x reader

➺ genre; sfw!! university!au!! fluff!! jungkook is shy!! y/n is friendly!! pocky sticks and goldfish crackers are exchanged!!

➺ wordcount; 4.9k

➺ what to expect; if he thought the back of your head was pretty... did that mean that he thought the rest of you was pretty as well?

»»————-　❅　————-««

jungkook doesn’t like to say that he hates people because saying that makes him sound obnoxious and a little overdramatic, but if given the choice, he would 100% choose to be alone

and he doesn’t think that it’s a problem that he prefers his own company over the company of other people

it’s literally just a personal preference!

he likes to keep to himself mainly because he.,.,

well

to be honest, he just doesn’t like talking to people?? which he thinks is a pretty valid reason to roam campus as a lone wolf

it just takes so much effort maintaining a conversation and at the end of the day, he’s just here to learn and get his degree, you know?

and it’s not like he flat-out refuses to talk to people like a weirdo

he can talk to people, he just chooses not to initiate or engage in any type of conversation whatsoever unless he really has to

and don’t even get him started on those damn ice breakers that professors make everyone do at the beginning of every semester

it’s why he always sits in the very back of the auditorium where all the quiet people are

because quiet people understand each other and quiet people will nevER turn to start talking to each other when the professor tells the class to share two truths and a lie about yourself to the person sitting next to you!

there’s just a mutual understanding that everyone in the back of the room will sit in silence and keep to themselves all semester long which is very pleasant

not to mention, he hates having to deal with ‘semester friends’ aka the one friend that you make for the sake and convenience of having someone you know in the same class as you

you guys really don’t have that much in common and you can tell that they’re in a completely different social circle than you are (aka when you inevitably do a social media handle exchange you see that they have more than a thousand followers and you can immediately tell they were super popular in high school which intimidates you and your puny 250 follower count but you can’t back out of this friendship now without looking like a jerk) but the person is friendly enough that you can get along and kind of keep a conversation going

and then once the semester ends the two of you promise to keep in touch next semester even though both parties are fully intending to not stay in touch at all

and then when next semester rolls around no one makes any effort to reach out and be like hey, should we get coffee this week?? because you have conflicting schedules that would take so much reshuffling just to accommodate this acquaintance that you really don’t care that much about so then you end up hitting them with an ooh, i can’t make it this week! what about next week??

and then it just turns into a cycle of ugh, i’m swamped this week! next week? and can’t, sorry! next week?

and then you’ll see each other at the library one day and it’ll be a little bit awkward because you’ll do that awkward half-hug and your voice will go up like ten octaves when you greet them with that overly polite heyyyyyy!

and more promises will be made to get coffee and hang out soon even though everyone knows absolutely no coffee will be gotten

the point is: in the four years that jungkook’s been a university student, not onCe has he made a steady friend and not once has he been remotely interested in making a steady friend

and he doesn’t think that’s sad or anything - again, he prefers it that way!

...but you just had to come along and completely throw his plans out of whack, didn’t you??

unsurprisingly, you were the one who spoke to him at the beginning of the semester but he didn’t think too much of it because it wasn’t like the conversation the two of you had was very riveting

“hi, i’m sorry-” jungkook looks up from his notebook when you twist around in your seat to face him, “this is psychology 400, right? i lost a copy of my schedule and i think this is the lecture hall i’m supposed to be in but i can’t remember if it said auditorium 200 or 201-”

“yeah, you’re in the right place.” jungkook interrupts, offering you a stiff smile before looking back down at his planner

he was in the middle of compiling a grocery list for himself and now he doesn’t remember what that one thing he needed was…

…

ah!

chocolate pocky sticks

there we go

jungkook clicks his pen before tucking it back into his pencil case and shutting his planner

and… yeah!

that was the first conversation the two of you ever had

he doesn’t think he can really count it as a conversation because it lasted less than three seconds

the first exchange the two of you ever had?

the second exchange he had with you was actually the next class that same week

he was genuinely surprised that you sat in the same spot again because usually when someone realises that he isn’t willing to be their semester-friend, they move to another section of the auditorium the next time

but no

there you were in all your glory

“when’s the first assignment due?”

jungkook’s eyes flicker up from his laptop first before he looks up at you

“uh, in two weeks...?” he trails off, pulling up the calendar app on his screen before nodding affirmatively, “yeah, in two weeks. september sixteenth at midnight.”

“okay, sweet! and that’s a... thursday?”

“wednesday.”

“ah, okay. got it. thanks!

“mhm.”

the weird thing was the fact that you never pulled out the “i don’t think i ever got your name! i’m ___” card because you just seemed like a very ‘i wanna be your friend!!!!!’ person

and he doesn’t know how you made him do it but one day he found himself asking for your name which he didn’t think he’d ever do

(admittedly, he was a little klutzy in doing so because he’d never willingly introduced himself to someone and asked for their name all in one go before)

“are you eating goldfish crackers and... chocolate chips?” jungkook blurts out, leaning forward a little to peer into the little snack box you’re holding in your hand

you pause and look down into the container before twisting around to look at him, “mhm! you know, you wouldn’t think the combination would work, but it totally does,” you smile, holding your box up, “wanna try?”

jungkook immediately shakes his head, “oh, no, that’s oka-”

“no, c’mon-” you pluck out a cracker and a chocolate chip and set your box down on your lap, “hold your hand out!”

jungkook hesitates for a second before holding his hand out and letting you plop the treats in his palm, “and you... eat them together?”

“uh-huh!” you nod, popping a cracker into your mouth before gesturing for him to eat, “don’t worry - if you don’t like it, i promise i won’t cry.”

jungkook brings his palm up and tosses them back into his mouth

...

huh

that’s actually... not half-bad?

“see? what’d i tell you?” you beam, giving your box a little shake, “good, right?”

“yeah, i mean, i would never think to put the two together...” jungkook trails off, dusting the crumbs off his hands, “oh, um, by the way-” he clears his throat before swallowing nervously, “i, uh, i’m jungkook. by the way. yeah.”

“jungkook?” you say out loud, jungkook nodding in confirmation, “i will try to remember that. i’m pretty bad with names, so if i end up calling you, like, robert next week, don’t hate me.”

“i will try not to hold it against you if you call me robert next week,” jungkook laughs lightly before reaching up to scratch the back of his neck, “and you... um, your name is...?”

“i’m y/n! by the way.” you tease lightly, the apples of jungkook’s cheeks turning a little pink, “it’s nice to meet you! ...even though we met, like, a month ago.”

“touché.”

“jungkook, you dog-” you gasp lightly, and for a second jungkook’s heart drops to his stomach because he thinks he’s said something wrong- “at least take me out to dinner first before touchéing me.”

jungkook immediately snorts and shakes his head lightly as you giggle to yourself

with that being said, even after that exchange he still wasn’t sure if he wanted to stay friends with you or not

yeah, you were nice and kind of charming in your own way, but...

(he couldn’t come up with a reason as to why he shouldn’t be friends with you, so that train of thought is still chug-chug-chugging along.)

»»————-　❅　————-««

“are those pocky sticks?”

jungkook stops typing, his eyes flickering up from his screen to see you looking at him with a soft little smile, your arms folded over the top of your seat and your chin propped up on them

he looks down at the open package of pocky sticks sitting on top of his backpack next to him before looking over at you and nodding, “uh, yeah. do you... want one?”

“are they the chocolate ones?”

“obviously.” jungkook snorts, pulling one out of the plastic bag before holding it out for you, “nothing beats the original flavour.”

you pluck it from his fingers, inspecting it for a second before biting into it with a crisp snap!, “i personally like the strawberry ones better-”

“what??” jungkook gawks, “i mean, yeah, the strawberry ones are fine, but the chocolate ones-”

“the strawberry ones have a thicker coating! the chocolate coating is so thin and barely-there!” you hold the bottom half of your pocky out so that jungkook can look at the cross-section of it, “see?? barely any chocolate-”

“you don’t know what you’re talking about!” jungkook scoffs playfully, slapping his laptop shut before crossing his arms on his desk and leaning forward, “chocolate pocky sticks are clearly superior to the strawberry ones-”

“alright, robert, whatever helps you sleep at night-”

“wha-” jungkook gawks in mock offence, too distracted by the fact that you like the strawberry pocky sticks over the classic chocolate ones to notice the feeling of his heart skipping a beat at the sound of your laugh

strawberry over chocolate

...

ridiculous!

»»————-　❅　————-««

now, jungkook isn’t particularly sure when it was that he started to notice how twinkly your eyes were or how sweet your voice sounded or how pretty your smile was or how nice your hair smelled

it kind of just dawned on him one morning??

he was just staring at the back of your head and found himself wondering how it was possible for the back of one’s head to be so pretty (you had your hair down that day and it just looked so soft and clean)

and then he thought to himself how weird it was that he just called the back of your head pretty

and then he thought to himself that if he thought the back of your head was pretty... did that mean that he thought the rest of you was pretty as well?

and then he thought to himself that yes, i suppose i would consider y/n to be pretty if i was ever asked for a list of people i considered to be pretty

and then he realized that oh, god. do i think that y/n’s pretty because i like y/n?!

and now it’s december meaning that it’s almost the end of the semester and he still hasn’t done anything about his crush on you because he?? literally has no idea how to handle it

his plan was to just ask you for your instagram and if you wanted to keep hanging out next semester and hope that it didn’t turn into a can’t what about next week can’t what about next week situation

and the fact that you guys are working together for the final project certainly doesn’t help with him suppressing his feelings at all

because you two have gone from spending time like three times a week in class to five or six times a week in and out of class

it was at the beginning of november that he discovered that you both had an hour and a half break after this class

so you guys usually go for lunch together (obviously, you were the one who asked first) and then go your separate ways

and then it was the second week of november that jungkook started walking you to your next class even though hiS next class is located at the opposite end of campus

he just????

literally has no idea how any of this happened

one minute he’s perfectly fine with being alone and the next minute he finds himself glancing towards the door every three seconds waiting for you to walk in because the best part of his morning is seeing you

because every time you walk in and see him in his usual spot your entire face lights up and your pace quickens and he just thinks it’s really cute how excited you are to see him even though you guys literally see each other so often

he always looks forward to hearing about what you did over the weekend even though he usually doesn’t care less about what anyone did over their weekend

he always looks forward to you bringing out your little snack box and offering him a couple pieces of whatever you have (you brought these sesame-glazed cashews the other day and they were really good)

he always looks forward to sharing his pocky sticks with you even though he’s usually very greedy with his pocky sticks

last week he let you eat like half the box and he wasn’t even mad

and yeah, he finds himself tossing a couple of the strawberry pocky sticks into his basket whenever he goes grocery shopping, but that doesn’t mean anything!

...

right???

»»————-　❅　————-««

jungkook glances back towards the door as he taps his foot against the ground anxiously before checking his phone for the time or any texts from you

where are you??

he booked one of the conference rooms in the library so that you guys could work on your project in peace

it’s much more quiet working here than in the general studying area because there’s always that one person who’s sniffling and coughing like a maniac

and you can speak at a normal volume in here which is good

you guys agreed to work on the project together at the end of the day and then you’d grab dinner together

and jungkook hasn’t been classifying these hangout working sessions as dates or anything but for some reason, this feels like a study date AND a dinner date rolled into one which is why his hands are so clammy right now

and on top of thAT he actually has a christmas present that he’s planning to give you but now he’s wondering if it’s too late to back out

you’re already like twenty minutes late

did you forget about him??

did you purposely bail on him??

is this your way of telling him that this friendship is over???

maybe he can text you and tell you that he had to go home because he has food poisoning or something

...but the image of him hunched over the toilet probably isn’t a very attractive one

is there like a.,., like a sexy way to talk about food poisoning?

jungkook paces back and forth as he looks down at his phone, typing a message to you and then immediately deleting it and retyping

hey! i’m gonna have to reschedule. i had a funky ass burrito for lu-

okay so there’s definitely no way to make food poisoning sound sexy

maybe he can come up with a... cool excuse of some kind?

hey! can we reschedule? i have to save a baby from a burning building because i’m also a firefigh-

nope

he’s terrified of heights and also he hates babies so that excuse would never work

hey! let’s reschedule! i have feelings for you and it’s overwhelming me and also i feel like maybe you kind of bailed on m-

“hey!”

jungkook jumps in his seat before whipping around to look at the door, feeling a sense of relief washing over him when he sees that it’s you

okay

well noW he knows that you didn’t forget about him and that you definitely didn’t bail on him

“he-” his voice gives out halfway and he clears his throat quickly, “hey! i was, uh, i was wondering when you’d show up.”

“i know, sorry i’m late-” you smile sheepishly, shutting the door behind you with a gentle click, “it’s for a good reason, though! i got us hot chocolates!”

you raise the takeout tray in your hand before setting it down on the table, “i was going to get you a peppermint mocha because ‘tis the season and all of that, but i didn’t know if you would like it or not so hot chocolate was the safer option.”

“i like hot chocolate!” jungkook coughs, “peppermint mochas- i mean, i would’ve been fine with a peppermint mocha too, but i- i still appreciate the hot chocolate-” he rambles, nervously flipping his pen back and forth in between his fingers, “i mean, i, like, what i’m trying to say is that i would like anything you brought for me, you know?”

okay

he’s spiralling

whY is this happening to him??

jungkook doesn’t know if he’s ever been this nervous for anything before

he wasn’t even this nervous when he had to do a solo presentation in front of two hundred people in his history course last semester and thaT was terrifying

“alright, well, i’ll definitely keep that in mind for next time!” you chirp, pulling out one of the wheely chairs before plopping down and turning to face him, “what else do we have to do for our report?”

jungkook feels his heart skip a beat when your knee bumps against his

oh god

okay

he has to get it together

just relax!

“oh, uh-” he turns to look through the checklist on his notebook, “we have to write up the conclusion... and also the annotated bibliography.”

“annotated bibliography?” you huff, scrolling through yours guys’ twenty page report, “oh, god... that’s going to take forever- we used, like, thirty different sources...”

“i told you not to go crazy with the scholarly articles...” jungkook teases lightly before taking a sip of his hot chocolate

ooH

there’s whipped cream on this as well!

“i just thought that it would make us look smarter if we used more sources-” you grumble, pushing your bottom lip out in a pathetic little pout, “and now we have to go through and annotate every single one...”

“hey, if it motivates you to work faster, i’ll get you an extra order of onion rings for dinner tonight.” jungkook hums, smiling fondly when you gasp excitedly and turn to face him

one thing that he’s learned about you is the fact that you are verY food motivated

one time you told him that you would be willing to rob a bank for a pack of oreos

...and he wholeheartedly believes that.

»»————-　❅　————-««

you try your hardest to hold back a grin when you notice that jungkook still hasn’t moved his leg from yours

the side of your thigh has been pressed right up against his for a good twenty minutes now and it seems like he doesn’t mind it at all

if anything, it’s safe to say that he’s comfortable being this close to you

that must mean that he likes you back, right?

because you know for a fact that he isn’t normally a touchy-feely person and you were fully expecting him to pull back the moment your leg touched his

this is!!!!

exciting!!!!

you don’t know when you started liking jungkook but the details really aren’t that important

you just know that you like him now and you’re like 80% sure that maybe he might?? like you back??

if he didn’t like you, why would he be willing to get coffee with you during your breaks and walk you to class?

you were actually a little put off by him the first time you spoke to him mainly because he seemed like he didn’t really want to talk to you

and usually you don’t do well with people who don’t want to talk to you because.,., you personally think you’re a greaT person to talk to and if the same vibes aren’t reciprocated then you immediately hightail it out of there

and you were actually going to switch seats the next class but it was pretty cozy in the back of the auditorium and you liked that your seat was near the exit so that you could be the first one out without getting trampled over by everyone else

so you figured you’d just swallow your pride and try to work it out with mr. pretty boy (yes, part of the reason as to why you stayed was because of how handsome he is.,., you’re only human!!!)

and it looks like it worked out in your favour because here you are!! hanging out with him outside of class!!

with that being said, you haven’t really thought about what your next move is going to be because you’re..., not entirely sure how to ask him out without potentially freaking him out or something

because if on the off-chance that he tells you that he actually doesn’t like you back after you ask him out with full confidence,,..,

ugh

you don’t even want to think about how awkward that’s going to be

and you don’t even knoW how you’d play it off casually without letting your disappointment show (“oh! well, that’s- pft- that’s totally fine, it’s whatever- like, i’m so... like, i’m so cool. it’s totally fine! dates are- dates are so overrated, anyway- romance is so lame-”)

you were thinking of maybe asking him out after the final project because if he says no then you’ll never have to see him again!

that’s the beautiful part of being on such a big campus

it’s fine

you’ll figure something out

just focus on this damn bibliography and try not to think about how good jungkook smells and how pretty his hands look when he’s typing

»»————-　❅　————-««

it’s about an hour and a half into the session that jungkook suddenly remembers that he has a present for you

he turns his head slightly to look at you

there’s a divot in between your brows as your fingers practically fly across your keyboard

wow

you must really want those onion rings

jungkook glances down at his backpack before pressing his lips together tightly

when would be a good time to give it to you without it being like.,,. awkward?

maybe after you guys are done?

or during dinner?

or after dinner?

or after he drives you hom-

“i have a present for you, by the way-!” jungkook blurts out a little louder than intended, shattering the serene silence of the atmosphere

okay never mind

“you do??” you ask, jungkook nodding quickly

“i... yeah. a christmas present! for you.” he clears his throat, leaning down to pull the neatly wrapped package out of his backpack, “it’s just a little something, it’s really not that big of a deal.”

“aw, that’s so nice of you... i didn’t know we were doing presents otherwise i totally would’ve gotten something for you...” you trail off, pursing your lips in disappointment

damnit

you weRE going to get jungkook something but you didn’t know if he’d find it weird or anything

and now you must look like a complete jerk!

“oh my god, don’t even worry about it-” jungkook flicks his wrist to dismiss your concerns, “you can count the hot chocolate as your gift to me! plus, you splurged on a venti just for me-”

“i did splurge on a venti just for you...” you joke along, instantly feeling a little better about the situation, “and i usually only treat people to tiny little talls!”

(for the record, you’re definitely going to get him a proper present over the weekend)

“also, it’s totally fine if you don’t like it-” jungkook swallows thickly when you start to rip open the packaging, “i can return it and get you something else-”

!!!!!!!!

“oH MY GOD i love it!” you exclaim, feeling your serotonin levels shoot straight through the ceiling when you pull out a heart shaped snack box, “i don’t even know what to say, this is literally the greatest present i’ve ever received in my entire life-”

“oh, thank god-” jungkook flops back in his seat before placing his hand on his chest, “i was worried that maybe you wouldn’t like it because you already have a pretty extensive collection of snack boxes- oh, and!” he perks up, spinning around to pull something else out of his bag, “i also got you a box of strawberry pocky sticks even though i still think your opinion about them being better than the chocolate flavour is very wrong.”

wow

he really knows the way to your heart :’)

“i don’t even know what to say, kook...” you smile, “thank you so much...”

jungkook beams, giving himself a mental pat on the back for a job well done, “ah, don’t worry about it. i’m just glad that you like your gifts...”

...

okay, you don’t have a gift for him so this is the next best thing

“can i-” you pause, trying to think of how to handle this, “can i- sorry, can you just close your eyes for a second?” you clear your throat

you’re suddenly feeling a lot more confident about jungkook’s feelings towards you than you were half an hour ago

(aka you are now 98% sure that he likes you back and if you’re wrong about this assumption then you’re definitely going to regret the thing that you’re about to do)

“close my eyes?” jungkook snorts, “why?”

“it’ll make sense in a second. just close them!”

“this is the part of our friendship where you kill me, isn’t it?” he jokes, setting his laptop aside before turning his chair so he can fully face you

ha hA

very funny

“if i was planning to kill you, i would’ve poisoned your precious pocky sticks a long time ago-” you laugh lightly, wiping your clammy hands on your jeans before turning to face him as well

“speaking of pocky sticks, have you ever tried the cookies and creme flavoured ones?” jungkook hums, jolting in surprise when he feels you place your hands on his knees, “because i was thinking we could just buy a bunch of flavours and try them toge-”

smak!

jungkook’s eyes immediately pop open the moment he feels you kiss his cheek, his entire face going beet red and his mouth going dry

you smile innocently as you pull back, jungkook trying his best to noT melt into a giant puddle of goo

you-

you just...

you kissed his cheek?

you kissed him?

maybe it was an accident??

maybe there was a bug on his cheek and you were just trying to kill it with your mouth

“you- i- heh-” he reaches up to scratch the back of his head, quickly averting his gaze when he notices you looking directly at him, “um, why... uh, what did you do that for?”

“to say thank you...” you shrug, biting back a smile, “and i guess it’s me trying to tell you that i... i like you too, by the way.”

jungkook feels his heart stop beating in his chest and his fingers dig into his thigh

too?

you like him?

too????

jungkook blinks owlishly at you, “you like me... too? r-really?”

“of course i do.” you hum, admiring your brand new snack box before looking back at him, “how could i not?”

(judging by his reaction, you are now 100% sure that jungkook likes you back so you now have nothing to worry about.)

“but how’d you know that i even liked you in the first place?” jungkook asks dumbly, still a little dazed from that kiss on the cheek

he can’t even think about how his body is going to react when he eventually gets to kiss you properly

“i mean...” you let out a little laugh before tilting your head slightly, “if the in-between class coffee runs and the walking me to class even though we both know it’d make you late for your class didn’t give it away, the fact that you let me eat half a box of pocky sticks without slicing my hands off certainly did.”

yeah

that’s fair

“you make a good point.” jungkook nods slowly, “touché-”

“-”

“-!” jungkook holds a finger out before the corners of his mouth tug up in a wide grin, “and i will definitely be taking you out to dinner first before even thinking about touchéing you. don’t worry.”

christmas with cee 2020 masterlist

🎁what would you like from ceenta this year? ��

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onlydylanobrien · 4 years ago

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Dylan O'Brien - NME Magazine Interview

Dylan O’Brien: “I was in this transitional phase – close to a quarter-life crisis”

From YA heartthrob to legitimate leading man – how the 'Maze Runner' star hit his stride after a whirlwind decade

Definitely!” hoots Dylan O’Brien when NME asks if he still has to audition. “I’m not Tom fucking Hanks, bro.” He’s clearly amused by our question, but forgive us for thinking the 29-year-old actor gets cast on reputation alone. A decade into his career, and he’s making an impressive transition from teen TV star and YA franchise hero to charismatic leading man.

New York-born O’Brien cut his teeth on MTV’s hit Teen Wolf series, before landing the lead in the Maze Runner film trilogy based on James Dashner’s hugely popular novels. Leading a band of bright young things that included ex-Skins tearaway Kaya Scodelario, Game Of Thrones’ Thomas Brodie-Sangster and Will Poulter, he honed his craft while racking up nearly a billion dollars at the box office. “My career is a constant acting class,” says O’Brien. “To be able to do the Maze Runner movies simultaneously with Teen Wolf was amazing in terms of getting in reps and working my [acting] muscle.”

Now for the sometimes tricky bit. Many actors struggle with the post-breakout period, but O’Brien is making it look easy so far. This year’s Netflix hit Love and Monsters proved he can carry an old-school family adventure, and new film Flashback (out next week) reveals an appetite for weirder, more cerebral work. He stars as Fred Fitzell, a young man reluctant to buckle down to life as a nine-to-fiver with a boring corporate job and a long-term girlfriend (Mindhunter‘s Hannah Gross). When he runs into a freaky-looking acquaintance from his teenage years, Fred becomes obsessed with finding an old high-school friend he used to drop a mind-bending experimental drug called Mercury with. It’s difficult to say any more without entering spoiler territory, but Flashback is a wild ride underpinned by the idea that we can exist in several realities at once. Even if you follow every plot twist, you might not fully understand the end. “Oh, it’s definitely a headfuck,” O’Brien agrees. “There’s not totally an answer to figure out. There’s a lot of different things that people can take from it.”

Speaking over Zoom from his LA home, O’Brien is bright, thoughtful and really good fun to talk to, especially when he relaxes into the interview, but he clearly knows where his line between public and private lies. When he first read the Flashback script, written by the film’s director Christopher MacBride, his “mind was blown” by just how much he related to Fred. “I felt like I was in this transitional phase of my life that was, you know, sort of close to a quarter-life crisis type thing,” he says. “For whatever reason, it was like me and this script were meant to be. I remember reading it and thinking: ‘I am this guy right now.'”

“There were a lot of things in my personal life that were neglected for a while”

When we ask why O’Brien felt as though he had reached a “transitional phase”, he gives an answer that’s vague but not exactly evasive. For understandable reasons, he doesn’t mention the incredibly traumatic motorcycle accident he sustained while shooting the final Maze Runner film in March 2016. O’Brien suffered severe trauma to the brain and said in 2017 that he underwent extensive facial reconstructive surgery after the accident “broke most of the right side of my face”. Tellingly, he’s never really revealed what happened on set or how it affected him.

Today, O’Brien dances around the details of the accident and other issues he was dealing with at the time, but doesn’t shy away from discussing his inner conflict. “You know, it was a lot of personal things combined with at-a-point-in-my-career things,” he says after a brief pause. He says he’d have been going through some of this stuff anyway, simply because of his age, but it sounds as though success intensified it all. “It was like this whole fucking storm of shit,” he continues. “I was simultaneously so fulfilled and happy about these, like, otherworldly and surreal things that I had experienced in terms of where my career had brought me. I had all this confidence and fulfilment and beautiful people [in my life] – such amazing things to experience at a young age. But at the same time, there were a lot of things in my personal life that were unchecked and sort of neglected for a while.”

O’Brien says that in time, he realised he had to “stop for a second” and “re-explore how I wanted my life to look going forward”. In fairness, you can see why he needed a breather: his career took off while he was still a teenager. After his family moved from New Jersey to Los Angeles County when he was 12, O’Brien contemplated a career as a sports broadcaster – his Twitter bio still bills him as a “no longer suffering Mets fan” – then began posting YouTube videos as moviekidd826. A funny, slickly edited skit titled ‘How to Prepare for the SAT in 45 seconds’, shared when he was just 17, shows he was a born performer and storyteller. YouTube success led to him getting a manager, but his breakthrough role in Teen Wolf still came out of the blue. At the time, he was treading water at a local community college and taking auditions on the side.

Still, he has since taken a rather fatalistic view of this career-making moment. “It’s totally weird because, when I think about it now, I don’t see how it could have happened any other way. I can’t picture myself doing anything else now,” he told Collider in 2011. “It was really sudden and a little random, and not provoked by anything. It was just out of nowhere. It wasn’t my intentional doing.” Today, O’Brien summarises his skyscraper career trajectory succinctly. “I guess I just graduated high school and started acting,” he says. “And then I felt like I was just flying by the seat of my pants and never got a chance to stop.” Thankfully, straight-out-the-blocks Hollywood success hasn’t taken away his sense of perspective. When I say how easy social media makes it to compare yourself unfavourably to others, O’Brien jumps in: “Yeah, that’s very true. I was watching the Billie Eilish doc the other day, and I was like, I’ve done nothing. I’m not an artist at all!”

“No one thought ‘Love and Monsters’ was going to be good!”

O’Brien is also self-deprecating when he talks about being cast in Flashback, suggesting it happened because he had such an intense connection with Fred. “I was honestly like, ‘Who is watching me right now?’ That is the best way I can describe how I was feeling when I came across this script,” he says. “Chris [MacBride, director] and I had this conversation that went so well in terms of [my] understanding this script that I think he’d sent around a lot and [that] very commonly wasn’t understood. I think Chris has even said that the night before shooting, he suddenly had this thought, like, ‘Wait, do I even think he’s a good actor?'”

Though O’Brien has firmly ring-fenced elements of his private life, he’s actually pretty frank about his acting vehicles. He readily admits he was expecting a snobbish response to Love and Monsters, a CGI-heavy hybrid of post-apocalyptic action and romcom that dropped on Netflix in April and topped the streamer’s daily most-watched list. “It means so much that Love and Monsters has gotten the response that it’s gotten,” O’Brien says. “No one thought this movie was going to be good.” His blunt honesty makes me laugh out loud. “No one did though!” he says in response. “And so, fuck that. You know, most of the people who say something to me about the movie, they’re like: ‘I watched Love and Monsters, and it was… good?’ And honestly, that just cracks me up.” For obvious reasons, we hastily decide not to share our response to the film – namely, that it was a whole lot better than expected.

In Love and Monsters, O’Brien plays Joel, a survivor of a so-called “monsterpocalypse” that has bumped humans to the bottom of the food chain. Though he’s known in his colony as a bit of a coward, Joel sets off on a treacherous 80-mile journey to find his high school sweetheart Aimee (Iron Fist‘s Jessica Henwick), which means evading the hungry clutches of various supersize grizzlies including a giant monster-frog hiding in a suburban pond. It’s a simple but pretty out-there premise that wouldn’t work if O’Brien’s performance was even slightly condescending. Instead, his unselfconscious sincerity really sells a film that has as much in common with the family-oriented Robin Williams movie Night at the Museum as darker fare like The Walking Dead.

His obvious affection for the project really comes across during our interview today. “When I read the script, I just thought it was so sweet and funny and smart and unique, but at the same time reminiscent of all these movies that don’t really get made any more,” he says. That’s a fair point: Love and Monsters is neither a fail-safe superhero movie nor a slice of classy Oscar bait. “And when they were talking about how to market this movie, it was so funny hearing all these conversations like, ‘How do we actually get people to watch it?'” he adds. “But that’s a big part of the reason I wanted to do this movie: because it felt like something I missed seeing.”

“I’m lucky to be surrounded by people who want to make something out of love”

So in a way, Love and Monsters was a risk for an actor seeking to establish himself outside of a bankable movie franchise and a hit TV show. O’Brien has only made four films since his final Maze Runner outing in 2018, and insists he hasn’t been tactical with his choices. “I don’t have anyone saying, ‘We need to get you in an Oscar vehicle’, or any of that kind of shit,” he says. “I’m really lucky to be surrounded by people who think like me: that you should do what you’re drawn to, and make something out of love.”

He’s recently finished shooting a mysterious crime thriller called The Outfit in London with Mark Rylance. Directed and co-written by Graham Moore, who won an Oscar for his screenplay to Alan Turing biopic The Imitation Game, O’Brien calls it “quite possibly one of the most special pieces of writing I’ve ever experienced”. He first read the script on a plane and says he “actually stood up and clapped” when he got to the end. Considering O’Brien probably wasn’t flying Ryanair, this reaction presumably attracted a few baffled glances.

Anyway, it must be pretty intimidating walking onto set with Rylance, a multi-award-winning actor revered by his peers – Al Pacino once said he “speaks Shakespeare as if it was written for him the night before” – but it sounds as though O’Brien took it all in stride. He says he’s confident in his abilities, but admits to having a slight wobble whenever he begins a new project. “I’m always sort of re-questioning everything – like, ‘Can I even act?'” he says. “But I think there’s something very natural about that. I think even Rylance could relate to that feeling. Acting is like starting a new year at school every single time.”

At this point in his career, O’Brien has made peace with the fact that some people will have preconceptions about him based on what he’s known for: Maze Runner and Teen Wolf. “People will put you in a box no matter what,” he says. “There was definitely a time when that would get to me, especially when it felt like somebody had a perspective on me that in my soul, I just felt wasn’t accurate.” Still, there’s no doubt he wants to show us what’s really in his soul with more films like Flashback. “If anything,” he adds bullishly, “it just makes me think: ‘Right, I’m really gonna show them now’.”

‘Flashback’ is out on digital platforms from June 4

#dylan o'brien #love and monsters press #flashback press #the outfit press

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low-budget-korra · 4 years ago

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Lets talk about Korra (again)

i already made this analysis, and it was well received but i dont know, i wanna do it again. Why not right? My english is better now than was when i made that analysis so i think this one will be better written

What a way to introduce a protagonist. This line and this scene tell us everything we need to know about Korra at that time and everything she knew about herself.

In book one Korra is a 17′s old teenager who have no idea how the world, how life is outside the training center she grew up in and had been locked up since ever. So she is not only naive but have lack of social skills

Oh, and not everyone who lack’s social skills will act like Zuko and Azula okay? Korra can be confident, expressive and outgoing and still have problems when it comes to social skills.One thing dont exclude the other.

“I’m the Avatar and you gotta deal with it” did you guys notice that only for that line we can see the entire opposite on how she treat her role as avatar in comparisson with Aang? And im not here to judge because is two very different contexts.

As far as we know, Korra grew up without friends or romantic partners. Of course, she had her training partners but i believe that they are just that.

So her entarely perception of herself was around her duty as Avatar, she didnt have personal life, she barely was Korra...She was The avatar and thats that.

So she came to Republic City, it was a mess.

Its funny to see that she have no touch when it comes to simply talk to people, i guess when you grew up away from society, this happens. And yes, she is cocky and had to learn that people arent there to somewhat please her, and she learned that quicky.

Thats why the Pro Bending was important for her character, not only for training but also as means of socilization.

Now lets talk about the villains: Amon and Tarrlok

The two of them represents two differents threats to Korra. Amon represents a threat to her duty as Avatar while Tarrlok represents a threat to Korra as a person.

In episode 4 we have what i still thinks is the darker episode from TLOK. In this episode Amon ambushes Korra in the final moments... Even knowing that they did their best to make Amon’s power and control be non-sexualized as possible still...He have her down on her knews, totally helpless and he even invades Korra’s personal space by touching in her face forcing her to look at him. He didn't have to sexually touch her to violate her.

And right after, the fear in Tenzin voice when asking what happened after seeing her laying in the ground like that, and how Korra is sobing in his arms teeling him how powerless and helpless she felt. I mean...Oh, and she keeps terryfied by him until he takes her bending.

Tarrlok in the other hand doesnt do much different from his brother and started to harass Korra because he cant take ‘no’ as a answer when Korra didnt wanted to join his task force.

Whats interesting is that if it wasnt for Tarrlok harassement and maniputation, Korra wouldnt have joined his task force and wouldnt have confronted Amon and wouldn't have gone through that terrible encounter.

The thing is that Korra is caught right in the middle of a politcal power dispute over the city, something that she for sure wasnt prepare for it. And both Amon and Tarrlok woud hurt or kill her without think twice about it if that means gain power. And that was exacly what happened

Tarrlok tried to manipulate her and keep her on leash where he could, and when his tatics didnt worked anymore he alreay had a plan B. Yes that whole metal box in that cabin in the middle of nowhere was made especifically for her and maybe Tenzin if he also get in his way.

In the end Korra lost the physical battle against both but won the ethical battle also against both. She was the responsable for expose both of them as corrupted and hypocrites. But at what price? Amon was able to remove the bends of the Avatar. And without them, how could she be the Avatar?

Remember that her entirely conception of herself was built around her duty as Avatar, be the avatar. After all, everything she was, everything she'd trained so hard for, had been destroyed in minutes. Thats why i still strongly believe that she was thinking about killing herself at the end, nobodys goes all sad and crying to in front of a clifft without thinking about jumping from it.

But she, i think given up the idea and just sit and started to crying when Aang appeared and help her, giving her bendings back in one of the best scenes of the show. So after have everything solve and still managed to get the boy she was in love with, things where great and she “move on”

In that first half, Korra is unbearable. Everything she learned in Book 1 how to be more mature, less spoiled and all, was thrown in the trash and she was the same "child" of the book one only worse.

Until I stopped and realized that I was also unbearable and childish like this when I had my bad phases of anxiety and depression, as defense mechanism and keep people away. Returning to Korra, and if this way of acting of her was nothing more than this defense mechanism?

Because guess what, i dont think she “move on” from all that happened in Book One that fast, and for add more drama she discovered that was her father idea of keeping her locked up training in that training center we saw in book one and not traveling like avatars before her. No wonder she felt betrayed. And for adding even more drama, people still keep treating her like child, so she was despered for some validation. Something that she found in her uncles arms but she was betrayed by him after.

In the end, Korra again goes through a traumatic experience when she has her connection with past lives destroyed. We see how it affected her when she apologizes to Tenzin, through tears. And Tenzin, as the excellent master he is, tries to motivate her to face Vaatu again (now merged with Unalaq, her uncle) and again she saves the day even after go throught a traumatic event

In the final moments, we see the innocent decision to reconnect the world of spirits and the world of men. And we also see Korra and Mako permanently end their turbulent relationship.

Book 3 begins in a more mature, we see all the characters being presented in a more mature way and it seems that Korra now has overcome everything that has passed. We have the relationship between Korra and Asami deepening as well

In Book 3, called "Change" we have a great sacrifice from Korra. Her life goes down a notch when she decides to save the new airbenders from Zaheer and the Red Lotus, the only villain until now that really threat her life since their sole goal was to kill the avatar.

Korra won again but this time victory costed way too much. Yes she save the day again but now she was physically and psychologically defeated. It was too much, she broke.

Book 4 begins and we only saw Korra in the final minutes and she is unrecognizable. We see that, once proud and courageous avatar, in someone depressed and cowerd. We never have saw Korra like that, even when she was afraid of Amon she wasnt like that.

Korra is afraid of being the Avatar again and her fight against PTSD is still one of the most sensitive, responsable and honest representation of Mentall Issues that i saw, and it was before this subject gain more space on media. It was before people started to give attention to this

I also think that she was having flashs from her other fights and not only the one against Zaheer.

Another thing I think is worth mention is that Korra took 3 years to feel safer and re-embrace her duties as Avatar. It was not 3 weeks or 3 months, it was 3 years. And anyone who suffers from some mental illness knows very well the stigma that is, the fight that is, because everyone wants you to be well faster as possible when the truth is that many times you spend years fighting against this. And this is a pressure that falls on you.Imagine, seeing all your friends moving forward while you continue "stock in the same place"?

Only after Korra confronts Zaheer, I think that was a way to show her coping with the trauma, she improves to the point of returning to be the great Avatar we know. I personally still struggles with this scene because put the victim in front of her agressor may not be the best idea but i understand that she needed to see that he was just a man and not the invencible monster her mind was telling her

One of the lines that stuck with me the most was in the TLOK version of the ember island players, the one that made a recap of the show before the finale. When Korra said “I was so naive” just before we watch her narration of her journey, we can feel pain, sadness and strenght. Janet was amazing in the way the delivered this line.

And this fucking quote i saw here on tumblr still is the goat: “The Last Airbender is a story of a boy who becomes a god. The Legend of Korra is the story of a goddess who becomes a girl "

And I still get really pissed when someone comes to talk shit about Korra because she is such an incredible heroine and her journey is also so incredible.

The story of how life can be hard and unfair, how it can hurt and paralyze, but there is always a reason to move on. We should always move on.

Korra is definitely not weak, quite the opposite, she is one of the if not the strongest heroine I have ever seen. Korra inspires overcoming

#korrasami #avatar korra #asami sato #mako #tenzin #bolin #lin beifong #su beifong #kuvira #zaheer #amon #unalaq #tarrlok #the legendd of korra #legend of korra #tlok #lets talk about #avatar

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nerdygaymormon · 4 years ago

Note

What do you think about the possible excommunication of Natasha Helfer?

Before this week, the only thing I knew about Natasha Helfer is I’d read an article she’d written about masturbation being part of normal sexual development, and she doesn’t see it as sinful. I agree with her.

Because of the publicity surrounding her summons to a membership council, I now know much more about her.

She made a video about being summoned to a membership council scheduled for April 18th. For starters, a stake where she hasn’t lived since 2019 has decided to do this, which seems strange to me.

Here’s the things the summons letter cites as “misconduct”:

Support for same-sex marriage

Teaching that masturbation is part of a normative sexual-development journey and should not be seen as “sin” or as a reason to keep our youth from being considered worthy to serve or church activities

Her stances on sexually-explicit materials, aka pornography (she believes this is because she educates about using a values model vs an addiction model in the treatment of such concerns)

She’s been critical of Church leaders

Concerns she has encouraged people to leave the Church

—————————

I went to section 32.6 of the General Handbook which lists the things someone may face a membership council. Frankly, the things listed in the letter sent to Natasha Helfer are not found in the Handbook.

I suppose these could fit under the charge of “Apostasy,” because she publicly declares opinions different from the Church. Here’s what the Handbook says constitutes apostasy:

Repeatedly acting in clear and deliberate public opposition to the Church, its doctrine, its policies, or its leaders

Persisting in teaching as Church doctrine what is not Church doctrine after being corrected by the bishop or stake president

Showing a pattern of intentionally working to weaken the faith and activity of Church members

Continuing to follow the teachings of apostate sects after being corrected by the bishop or stake president

Formally joining another church and promoting its teachings (Total inactivity in the Church or attending another church does not by itself constitute apostasy. However, if a member formally joins another church and advocates its teachings, withdrawing his or her membership may be necessary.)

—————————

Natasha Helfer is a well-known LDS marriage counselor and certified sex therapist in Utah. She’s written several articles that have been widely read. She’s been a recurring guest on the Mormon Mental Health podcast, Mormon Matters and appeared on many other podcasts.

She’s particularly sought out because of her training & expertise and her experiences in helping members of the Church overcome their sense of shame regarding sexuality.

As a marriage counselor, she helps couples where one or both goes through a faith crisis, she says she doesn’t encourage anyone to leave the Church but honors their choices and helps them work through their thoughts & feelings, and also the effect it has on their marriage.

Because of the news about her being summoned for a membership council, I’ve learned more about her positions. Here’s a list of some of the things I’ve seen in her writing:

Sex Ed in Utah public schools should be comprehensive and accurate

Sexual assault is a crime & should be talked about as such

The LDS Church should know how to address sexual misconduct and sexual assault much better than it currently does

We should embrace and minister to our trangender neighbors, not fear them and make church difficult for them

Excommunication is cruel and unusual punishment which often is a traumatic experience used by the Church to silence its critics

Service Missions should be setup to be meaningful and seen as equal to proselyting missions

LGBTQ+ members should be affirmed and included in their faith community

LDS teachings & messages to LGBTQ+ members is akin to bullying and has real-world consequences on their mental health & lives

Fear of the BYU Honor Code actually causes many to not seek repentance for fear of academic punishment

The Church teaching that only certain families that fit the mold will get to enjoy the afterlife together is harmful. Mormon Heaven = Sad Heaven. She lists many groups who are harmed by this teaching, including: mixed-faith families, LGBTQ+ individuals & their families, families where someone struggles with addiction, single-parent families, families trying to deal with abuse & trauma, families dealing with mental health conditions such as bi-polar or impulse-control, family survivors of someone who died by suicide

When the Church rescinded the policy of exclusion against gay couples and their children, it should have been accompanied by an apology, not just a brief statement of the announcement with no explanation for the change

Social media isn’t the problem, how we use it is. If we’re keeping in touch with family & friends with whom we otherwise wouldn’t because of distance, accessing support you wouldn’t find in your area, obtaining ideas & resources, these are good. Comparing ourselves to others’ “best selves”, debating others, writing mean comments and such are not helpful. Too often people behave differently online than they do in person

We should wish people well when they leave our church and faith community and wish them well on their spiritual journey. We do a good job at celebrating newcomers even though many of them had to say goodbye to something in order to say hello to us

We need to speak of abortion more than as if anyone who gets one is evil. Even the Church’s position makes room for abortion in certain circumstances and we should be more nuanced in how we speak of it

Biological sex and gender are not binary. This may be LDS doctrine but the sciences of Biology and Psychology say otherwise

She supported the law ending conversion therapy in Utah of LGBTQ+ people

Racism is a public health emergency in the USA, racism is more than hate, it’s in our systems. It’s in our scriptures, our folklore, our culture, our history

Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself. It’s acceptance and moving forward

She also has many articles & podcasts about improving marriage relationships, how to talk with your child about sex, tips for a mixed-faith marriage and similar topics directly related to her job as a marriage counselor and sex therapist.

I’m very impressed, from what I see. She is a tremendous force for good in our LDS community. We need people willing to speak the truth.

—————————

Here’s two articles that especially impressed me.

First is one is about masturbation, how it’s a legitimate way to meet one’s needs and some of the many benefits associated with sexual release.

Second is one about pornography, the LDS culture gives pornography more power than it deserves with our blanket bans, secrecy & shaming, and calling virtually all porn viewing an addiction.

—————————

Frankly, based on what I post on my blog, I could be charged with all the same things that Natasha Helfer is being charged with.

Do I support same-sex marriage? Yes. Absolutely.

Do I think masturbation is a sin? No, and I think many Church websites, publications, and the General Handbook back up this view.

Is masturbation a normal part of sexual development? Yes. And it has many benefits for individuals, especially singles like me, and even within a marriage

Is porn always wrong? I definitely can think of ways porn can be included inside a healthy marriage, perhaps as a way to help a partner get “in the mood,” or for someone with a higher libido to use along with masturbation, as part of foreplay, or even getting some ideas to spice up their love life.

Have I been critical of Church leaders? You betcha. I think they’re wrong on LGBTQ+ topics and I say so.

Do I encourage people to leave the Church? I don’t view myself this way, although I wouldn’t say that I try to get them to stay, either. It’s their path to walk. I know most LGBTQ+ people leave the Church, it’s the way our journeys normally go. I feel God has told me it’s fine for me to leave this church, so in no way do I think poorly of people who leave. This church isn’t ready for queer people and I don’t think God requires us to remain some place that harms us.

My understanding is we’re allowed to have beliefs that differ from the Church, as long as we’re not recruiting people to our side. Simply sharing your opinion or some differences in how you view things shouldn’t be something we can be punished for.

I suppose the difference between her and me is she’s seen as a high-profile individual and she’s using her credentials to give weight to her opinions, and I’m just some rando gay guy who has a blog.

#natasha helfer #long post

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everlarkficexchange · 4 years ago

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On the Hunt

Author: @hutchhitched

Prompt 39: Katniss has been bumping into the same stranger (Peeta) for months. When they get stuck in an unfortunate situation together, she decides to be the first to say hello. [submitted by @eiramrelyat / @taylerwrites]

Ratings/Warnings: T

The first time Katniss sees him, he takes her breath away. It’s from afar. He probably doesn’t even catch a glimpse of her, but her whole world tilts off its axis.

She’s not sure why he stands out to her. There’s nothing particularly unique about him. He’s not short or tall or big or small. He’s not drop-dead gorgeous or ugly like a troll. He doesn’t move like an athlete or sparkle with the magic of a performer. He appears normal in every sense of the word, but that doesn’t mean she can’t see how special he really is. At least she thinks he might be—if she had a chance to actually speak to him.

That doesn’t happen, though. She’s too far away when she sees him picking up a loaf of bread, and she can’t seem to move once he’s left her line of sight. She stays frozen in the freezer section (the irony!) for several minutes. Hopefully, everyone else thinks she’s considering her options in breakfast burritos, but she’s actually involved in an out of body experience that follows the young man from the back of the store to the registers, out the door, and into the parking lot where he must load his groceries into his car and drive away. His life is no different, but hers will never be the same.

It has to be because she’s lonely. It’s been a very long time since she’s been in a relationship. In fact, it’s been so long since she’s kissed a man, she kind of wonders if she’s forgotten how to do it. Katniss has never been that popular, but she’s enjoyed her fair share of attention. She tries really hard not to spiral out in the freezer section, but Christ on a cracker! Something about that specimen of manhood has made her question her life’s choices. Why hasn’t she run into him before now? Clearly, she’s been living wrong.

Except, she hasn’t. She’s done absolutely everything she knows to do to be a good person. She supports her little sister and sends money to her mother who needs every speck of help she can get. She has a best friend who’s been by her side since they both lost their fathers when they were barely teenagers. She helps out at a shelter and donates money to the food bank because she knows way too well how hunger can impact a person’s life. In other words, there’s no reason her weekly grocery trip should result in an upheaval to her world. It’s simply not fair, and she plans to file a complaint to who it is that runs fate and destiny. She has a bone to pick.

Somehow, she finds everything on her list and heads to the front of the store. When she gets there, she unloads her groceries and watches as the cashier scans each item. Digging into her wallet, she’s stunned to find she only has a twenty and the total keeps rising. Mortified, she watches as the number climbs to $34.15.

“I don’t have… I mean, can you take off the…”

Trying to figure out what she can live without until her next paycheck, she surveys the food and toiletries. Almost in tears, she stammers for a few seconds before the cashier speaks.

“Don’t worry. Another patron paid it forward. He left a twenty and asked that I use it if anyone needed help. Looks like you could use some.”

“I— I couldn’t. It’s not right.”

“The guy seemed pretty adamant that I only offer it to someone who could use a break. It seems like that could be you today.”

Katniss nodded slowly. “Do you have any idea who it is? I’d like to thank them.”

The cashier shook her head. “Young guy. Stocky, medium height, ashy blonde hair, blue eyes. Very polite. Named Peter, I think. Something like that.”

It’s got to be him. The description’s too similar to be a coincidence. It seems the guy that froze her in place with his looks is as kind and compassionate as he is special. Now, he’s even more intimidating.

She nods her thanks and takes the change and her purchases. The five in her pocket gives her a little joy, but the feeling of not having money still bothers her. Maybe it’s time to get a credit card. She’s been warned off them for so long that she never applied for one, but now, it might be something she should do. Maybe. It makes her nervous to think she could get in financial trouble with it. She’s been poor her entire life. It might be too tempting to resist.

When she makes it back to her apartment, her attempt to unpack her groceries is interrupted frequently by long pauses in which she fantasizes about finding the guy who’s rocked her world and given her daydreams about all the ways she needs to thank him (appropriately and not so much) for the rest of her life. It’s not unrealistic at all. Totally doable, she decides. After all, how hard can it be to find him again? They live in the same town.

****

The answer to that question is that it’s very hard. Difficult isn’t even the word to describe the problem she has in trying to find the Boy With the Bread, which is what she calls him even though he’s definitely an adult. The person she saw from afar was all man if the stretch of his shirt across broad shoulders was any indication. Still, the alliteration makes her smile, so she continues to refer to him as such.

It shouldn’t take so long, but it does. Months pass, and she wonders if she’s made it all up and imagined the creature that changed her life. She keeps her eyes open in public, scans the local news and social media sites, and seriously considers setting up an online dating site just to see if he’s looking for someone. She’s getting desperate, but then fate smiles on her again.

She’s sitting in a coffee shop, something she hardly ever does, when he walks in the door. She doesn’t normally have time for such a mundane, normal activity that other people her age seem to enjoy all the time. She’s usually working during the day, and she has no desire to consume copious amounts of caffeine after 5 pm when she gets off work. Today, though, she has time. She’s taken a half day to run errands and go to the dentist, and she needs the jolt the espresso will give her to survive her reduced shift.

He ducks through the doorway just as she’s taken a sip of her hot beverage, and she almost chokes on the liquid. He shakes the umbrella he’s holding just outside the door and shoves a riot of blonde curls off his forehead that have shrunken up and frizzed from the rain. It’s adorable.

He’s wearing an emerald Henley and faded jeans that hug all the right places. The sight of him freezes her in place, but that doesn’t stop her from tracking him as moves past her. She’s close enough to see his eyes are blue before he marches across the café and approaches a man sitting alone in the corner. They clasp hands and grin at each other, and the vision in green heads to the counter to order.

She’s dumbfounded. Here he is again after so long, and she can’t think of a single thing to say to him or how in the world to actually approach him without making her look absolutely insane. She racks her brain trying to think of an intelligent topic, but she’s jolted from that when the barista walks to the end of the bar and calls a name.

“Peeta! Chai Latte.”

That’s his name, she realizes, and it’s like the sun’s broken through thick, heavy clouds. It’s just unusual enough to fit him and still feel familiar. He smiles at the woman behind the bar and takes the cup from her. He ordered chai, and she files that information away for future reference. He might not like coffee, which seems important.

She’s pondering a trip to the bathroom just so she has an excuse to pass by him when she suddenly understands that he’s leaving. He and his friend are talking as they walk to the door, and she catches the sound of his voice.

“—we can change that, the numbers will—”

His words are swallowed by the rush of traffic outside, but that silky tone she hardly had a chance to listen to has already taken up residence in the part of her brain that creates unrealistic fantasies. She daydreams for longer than she should. In fact, it’s only the vibration of her phone against the table that reminds her she has to get to her job. What a chance encounter, but now she has a name to go with that face.

****

She’s tried to find him again. She’s googled and returned to the coffee shop when she’s had a spare minute or two. She’s asked around and continues to check dating sites. Nothing. She’s found absolutely nothing. Without a last name, she has very little idea how to find out anything else. Frustrated, she goes about her daily life with a weight on her shoulders that shouldn’t be there. He’s a stranger she’s glimpsed only a couple of times.

Frustrated and full of pent-up energy, she joins a gym. There’s nothing quite like working up a good sweat to ease tension and kickstart her brain, so she spends her free time running the track, lifting, and participating in every hot yoga class the establishment offers. After a month, she’s leaner and stronger than ever, but she hasn’t managed to come up with any ideas that might help her find the guy she desperately wants to thank for saving her when she wasn’t sure how she’d eat for a week.

She’s two laps into her normal ten when she glances down from the elevated track and spots a pickup game of three on three basketball on the far court. Three blonde men face off against three with dark hair, one of whom looks remarkably like her best friend Gale Hawthorne, who she hasn’t seen since he left town for a job almost a year ago. As she jogs closer to the court, she realizes it is him teamed up with his brothers. The blonde men look like siblings, too, but she doesn’t spare them much of a glance. She’s got more laps to go, and she doesn’t want to draw any attention to herself. Gale didn’t bother to tell her that he’s in town, and she’s a little miffed by that.

It’s another three passes by the court before it hits her that the blonde men look familiar. She puts on a burst of speed to get back to where she can see the men closeup and almost trips over her own feet when she spies him. It’s the guy. THE guy. The cashier had said Peter, and the barista had called him Peeta. She stops in her tracks and grabs the railing when someone bumps into her from behind.

“Watch it!” he yells as the jogger passes her. “You’re not supposed to stop on the track!”

She dismisses him with a wave and sprints to the nearest stairwell. If she can just catch them… She bounds down the stairs, three at a time, and bursts into a bustling walkway. She dodges and shoves her way free and streaks around the corner to find—

“Catnip! What are you doing here?”

“Gale!” Sweat drips down her forehead and stings her eyes. Cringing, she swipes her hand across her face and tries not to cry. “Where are—? I thought you were playing basketball.”

He throws her a bewildered look and nods like she’s lost it a little. “We were.”

“You’re done?”

“Yeah? We’d been at it for a while. Are you… Have you been watching me?”

Katniss rolls her eyes, although that’s not really very fair. She had noticed him. It’s not like that’s not the case. “Who were you playing with? I saw Vic and Rory, but the blonde guys… Who, er, who were they?”

The expression on his face would be priceless if she weren’t so desperate to find out the information. He looks like he’s swallowed something very, very distasteful, and she tries hard not to snort with laughter.

“Why?”

She takes in his narrowed eyes and realizes she’s going to have to lie to get what she wants. Part of the reason they haven’t been as close since he left town is due to his sudden confessions of feelings toward her. She’d let him down easy, but things have been strained since then. There’s no need to rub that in his face when all she wants is to find out about Peeta. With a straight face and innocent eyes, she explains, “I think one of them door dinged my car a couple of weeks ago. The gym won’t give out membership information, but if you know who they are… Well, I’d be really grateful, Gale.”

He falls for it when she bats her eyelashes at him. She should feel terrible, but all’s fair in love and basketball. Of all people, Gale should want her to be happy, no matter if that means she’s interested in someone else or not. She’s no damsel in distress, unless she can’t pay for her groceries or something. However, her simpering works, and that’s really what she needs.

“Mellark is the last name. They all have bread names. It’s weird.”

She rolls the name around in her head for a bit. Peeta Mellark. It’s a nice solid name, and now she has more information to help her figure out how to find him. Almost giddy with victory, she stretches up on her tiptoes and kisses Gale’s cheek in gratitude. Backing away before he can reciprocate, she hears him as the distance widens between them.

“Do you want to grab dinner sometime? Maybe?”

“Sorry, Gale! Got to go. Really good to see you!”

With that, she turns her back and slips down the hall to the women’s locker room. She doesn’t bother to shower before grabbing her bag and heading to her car. She’s barely closed the door before she’s on her phone and typing in the name Peeta Mellark. She has a thank you to deliver.

****

Surprisingly, it’s not much easier to find him now that she knows his full name. She unveils a lot of information about his family, but not him. Apparently, they own a few local bakeries that she tries out and loves. Still, Peeta’s family is not the same thing as Peeta, who is remarkably absent from social media and with no online presence. She’s willing to admit, she got cocky, and now she can’t figure out how to recover from it.

“Where the hell is he?” she mutters as she comes up empty. Again.

Frustrated, she runs over all the data she’s gathered about him. He’s kind, compassionate, and thoughtful; all of those qualities were on display at the grocery store. He drinks tea and has a very good-looking friend who he talks to about numbers; that she learned at the coffee shop. He’s athletic and has two brothers he likes well enough to exercise with them; that information, and his last name, came from the gym. It should be enough to go on. It’s not.

She’s at home on her couch and paying bills when it suddenly hits her that she may never see this guy again. Peeta Mellark seems to be a figment of her imagination for all the good it’s done to try to find him. That and the small number in her bank account are both so unpleasant that she decides she’s going to have to break down and do something she’s been avoiding and delaying for a very long time. She’s going to have to open a line of credit. She’ll only use it for emergencies, but she can’t rely on the kindness of strangers to bail her out the next time she doesn’t have money for groceries, let alone car maintenance or an unforeseen medical crisis. It’s been months since Peeta saved her, but the humiliation of not being able to take care of herself still hasn’t faded. Before she can change her mind, she grabs her purse and heads to the bank. The time is now.

“Can I help you?” A bubbly blonde teller named Delly asks, and Katniss takes a deep breath to fortify herself.

“I’d like to open a line of credit. Can I talk to someone about that?”

“Sure!” she practically squeals. “Let me just call someone to help you.”

She’s led down the hallway and past a few desks to a small office. Once ushered inside, she sits and raises her eyes to view the person across from her.

“Oh…”

The man before her is stunning—green eyes, bronze hair, a swimmer’s build. It’s the guy’s—Peeta’s—friend, the one he was with at the coffee shop.

“Ms. Everdeen. I’m Finnick Odair. Want some sugar?” he asks and nudges a candy bowl toward her.

“No, I’m fi—.”

“Hey, Finn. Can you— Oh, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know you were with a customer.”

She jerks at the sound of his voice. Peeta Mellark is standing in the doorway, and her heart is in her throat. She has a sudden flashback of the coffee shop, when the two of them walked past her discussing numbers… Now, it all makes sense. They work at a bank together. Of course they do. Peeta turns to leave, and she calls out.

“Wait! Stay with me.”

She claps her hands over her mouth and wills herself not to blush, but it’s no use. She’s just asked a perfect stranger to stay with her, and her invitation sounds much more intimate than she means it to. He must think she’s insane. Maybe she actually is. She pushes down a sudden urge to flee the situation and escape to the safety of her apartment.

This is out of her wheelhouse. Shy, introverted, and intensely private, Katniss worries the end of her braid and bites her lip. Every instinct she has tells her to run, but the temptation of him before her is too great. Rising, she crosses to him and holds out her hand.

“Hi. My name is Katniss. You saved my life once, and I’ve been on the hunt to find you for months. Thank you.”

Peeta and his friend exchange looks, and she fights the urge to shrivel back into herself. Finally, he looks directly at her and takes her palm in his. With a smile so disarming she nearly faints, he answers.

“Peeta Mellark. It’s nice to meet you.”

The touch of his hand on hers melts her insides. She dreads when she finally has to let go, but maybe she won’t have to. With a shy smile, she cocks out her hip and looks up at him through long lashes. Her flirting may be a disaster, but it’s all she’s got.

“It’s so nice to meet you, too.”

The flicker in his eyes makes her knees weak. An hour later, she’s left the bank with a line of credit, a phone number, and a dinner date. The hunt is finally over.

#hutchhitched #eiramrelyat #prompt 39 #Springtime Edition 2021 #submission

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ghost-in-the-stalls · 4 years ago

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Since the hiatus is over, I'm gonna rant a bit about Stand Still, Stay Silent and how the author's take on her new religious views are impacting things.

So if you don't read that webcomic,sorry for this. I'll put it under a read more if it gets long (which it probably will).

So first of all, I'll clarify that these are my views and I know this is a HEATED thing rn and I'll basically just say I'll be willing to like... debate about it with anyone who wants to but I also personally reserve the right to turn off anon/block you if you get nasty with me or if it sounds like you aren't actually interested in hearing what I'm saying so much as spreading your own beliefs around.

Secondly, I want people to understand that I personally am American. I am speaking from an American perspective. I understand that Minna is not American. I may be conflating our experiences in a way they cannot be. However, I also recognize that author intent and audience interpretation are two very different things. With this in mind, I also recognize and understand that intent is nothing when compared to impact. So though I may be speaking from an experience that may not be true at all for Minna, I also recognize that my feelings and perspectives are valid as an American audience member. Something being written by a Finn does not negate the fact that it is available to read regardless of geographic location, and that it's impact will ultimately reach further than just her own bubble. So this post is me speaking about impact on myself as an American audience member, not intent on her part.

First I'll say that the bunny comic - Lovely People - is, in my opinion, objectively in poor quality and taste. Not even taking into account my own views on religion yet. It was very tone deaf about the history of Christianity and oppression and completely ignored how Western Christianity plays a major part in a lot of modern oppression and social problems that the comic tries to address. The pseudo-apocalyptic theme of the social credit system had the potential to be a very interesting and thought provoking direction! Social media has fucked with our society and our mental health in a way that we really need to address!

However, the comic made the Christians the only group we see experiencing oppression from this system in the story. This effectively does two things in tandem. One, it fails to address just how negative of an impact the social credit system would have on us all. Looking around at our way of interacting with the world now, we're still almost all of us suffering for the way things are. We have incredibly high social anxiety, people are encouraged from a young age to conform aggressively to beauty standards and share all their personal details online, and - most notably to my next argument - anywhere an individual lacks privilege is exploited by our society and they are put under a microscope, and are ultimately aggressively punished for being part of a marginalized group. Not born with the physical traits considered acceptable by Western standards of beauty? Tough luck. Not physically or mentally able to participate in the current system in place? Tough luck. Not willing to conform to strict gender roles? Identify as a marginalized gender or sexuality? Not willing to be quiet and secretive about it? Tough fucking luck. But the ONLY group that is shown to be oppressed at ALL in the bunny comic is Christians.

What makes this even more tone deaf is that, Two, it is thus completely blind to how Western Christianity has played a direct and aggressive role in supporting the oppression of these other group in our current fucked up system. I'm NOT saying Christianity is evil or that anyone who practices the faith is bad. Not at all. Religion is, at it's core, a beautiful thing. But the fact stands that MANY people in positions of power have used their Christian beliefs as a tool to oppress others. In America especially (yes I'm speaking as an American and I acknowledge that) Christianity is THE mask used by the far-right and the oppressors to spread their ideologies. Even white supremicists and nationalists ultimately will try to argue that white people and the US are God's Chosen Ones which is why they're TOTALLY RIGHT in doing the terribly things they do.

Making a comic about how a social credit system causes oppression and then showing that oppression as EXCLUSIVELY happening to Christians is not only in EXTREMELY poor taste, it is directly harmful. It is the same message and behavior that a lot of Christians use constantly to gaslight marginalized groups that they are against. "Oh I'm oppressing you? No actually I'M oppressed because I'M CHRISTIAN and you just can't handle the fact that you're going to hell for not repenting for existing!"

Even if those are your true beliefs. Even if you genuinely think that Christians are oppressed and that anyone arguing against you is refusing to repent. Does spreading information in that way really seem effective to you? Does it really seem loving and caring to you? To sit there and talk about how others are always hurting you, but you aren't hurting anyone else at all by telling them they're going to hell for being?

I'm digressing. But my point here is that the comic is in incredibly poor taste, and I genuinely will never understand why people expect non-Christians to take the message of "you're going to hell if you don't conform to my beliefs and also I'm oppressed" positively.

Moving on to Stand Still, Stay Silent...

She has said several times that she does not intend to change the path SSSS has been on from the beginning. This is honestly not comforting whatsoever.

First, this is definitely because - even before the recent developments - SSSS was always very shallow imo. I loved it! Don't get me wrong! But a major part of that love was because I genuinely thought it was building up to something bigger; I thought it was eventually going to go deeper. I now understand that that was never the case. It's a shallow story with a lot of potential that I don't think was ever going to get fully explored.

Now here's the thing. Part of me is really upset about that. What I thought the story was going to be I now see will never happen. But a bigger part of me is frankly happy about that now. Because, like I said up top, intent and impact are very different. If she were to suddenly go unexpectedly deeper than the story has been, I wouldn't trust that there wouldn't be shitty subtext and more of the same tone-deafness as the bunny comic. Whether intentional or not.

And even if she hadn't recently converted to Christianity. The fact that she is someone who is susceptible to these ideas and values tells me what kind of a person she really is anyway, regardless of religious identity. Which, frankly, would mean the subtext would still be shitty. I don't trust it. I don't trust her.

So frankly, people have every right to be suspicious of how SSSS may be impacted going forward. She can say that it won't be all she wants. But either the story will go deeper - like I had always hoped it would - and there would inevitably be an inseparable link between her values and beliefs and the themes of the story, OR the story will never go deeper at all which would mean imo that it would ultimately fall flat as a story.

People are allowed to be disappointed by this. People are allowed to be suspect of how she may potential work harmful themes into the comic going forward - whether intentionally or not. I'm allowed to be wary of this, especially as someone who has had VERY bad experiences with Christians who have tried to tell me the same things she made clear in her bunny comic.

#ssss #stand still stay silent #lovely people #minna sundberg #yes im tagging this #and ill probably regret it later #but damn i needed to get this off my chest #i needed to get this out there bc i NEED people to understand why i #and so many others #are upset by this

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wannabe-fic-writer · 4 years ago

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Natasha Romanoff x Reader : Prove Me Wrong

Summary: She can trust you, even if she doesn’t know it yet.

Warning: 18+ Mental Health, Mentions of Death, Mentions of Violence, Smut

Chapter 12 - Final Chapter

* * * * * *

Natasha’s lithe fingers follow the trail of your spine, her touch on your bare skin gently stirring you from your sleep.

The touch halts, lingering on a darker spot on your hip. Using the tip of her finger she traces the pattern of the birthmark.

She hadn’t noticed that before. Just another thing about your body she’d learned in the past few days.

While you weren’t sex crazed, after your first time together, you and Natasha had become much more sexually active. Almost every available night you spent tangled up in each other.

That didn’t happen of course until after you’d both had a long and understanding conversation about what had happened.

Now though, you’re both closer than you had been before, in every way.

Natasha moves, leaning down to press a soft kiss to the mark on your hip, before curling into your back and kissing your neck. You, basking in her warmth and gentle touch, cuddle back into her and grab her hand, lacing your fingers together and holding it to your chest.

“Good morning lyubov moya.” She speaks softly, each breath fanning your neck.

You turn in her embrace, a sleepy smile on your lips,“ morning malyshka.”

A faint blush coats her cheeks as she ducks her head. Making you chuckle and press a kiss to the top of her head, arms tightening around her.

Looking to the nightstand, your eyes widen when you realize you’d both slept well into the day, the time reading 11:35. No doubt due to the previous nights activities.

“Tash, we should probably get up.” You tell the woman, just barely upset you’d wasted half the day.

She groans, somehow snuggling into you further.

You didn’t think you’d ever see the day Natasha Romanoff didn’t want to get out of bed. The woman consistently wakes up before the sun rises.

“Don’t you just want to stay here with me?” Her words are a whisper against your skin and you shiver involuntarily.

Biting your lip, you try to build a firm resolve in your head, but with the way Natasha’s fingers keeping gently stroking your skin, and the small pout on her lips, you fold.

Playfully groaning, you nod,“ I mean I guess we can stay in bed a little longer.” You look up to the ceiling in fake thought before meeting her gaze again.

"You make it seem as if this isn’t exactly what you want to be doing.” She teases, eyebrow quirked at you challengingly.

Of course she’s right. What right minded person wouldn’t want to stay in the arms of their love.

Instead of indulging her smug attitude, you lean closer and press a kiss to her lips. She moves to deepen it, her lips adding pressure to yours. And then she pulls away abruptly.

Eyes wide you back up a little, in case you just did something you shouldn’t have,“ what? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing I just, I have to pee.” She smacks a quick kiss to your lips and crawls out of bed.

You nod, then watching her sprint to the bathroom. While she’s in the bathroom, you use that time to get up and pull on some clothes, also picking up the clothes you and your girlfriend had discarded last night.

“This does not look like staying in bed.”

Looking, your eyes move to the bathroom door where Natasha stands, hands on her hips. You can’t stop your gaze from trailing over the woman’s naked body. Every inch of her is beautiful: scars, curves, birthmarks, freckles, everything is breathtaking.

You nod and shake your head at the same time,“ yeah no I- well I was just tidying up is all.”

Green eyes narrow and she points to the bed. With a chuckle you obey, crawling back under the covers, and accepting Natasha into your arms when she crawls in afterwards.

The both of you sit in the silence, reveling in each other’s embrace. A low hum leaves the ex-assassin’s lips when your fingers graze her scalp as you comb through her hair. The soft affection from you making her smile a little.

“Hey,” she squeezes you gently,“ I love you.”

Smiling brightly, you kiss the top of her head,“ I love you too Tash.”

Just holding her makes you beyond happy and you can’t express how glad you are things worked out.

Seeing as you hadn’t exactly practiced what you preached, you hadn’t seen the benefits of total honesty with your partner. Now that you’re both on the same page it’s the most incredible feeling.

Natasha’s proven to be the most loving, understanding, and caring woman. Knowing that she can trust you wholly has her acting in a way she didn’t think she ever would. You’d pulled out this childlike happiness that she wasn’t allowed to have in the past. Moments like this: being affectionate and playful, happening more often.

It’s not until Natasha’s stomach rumbles from hunger that you decide to get up. Leaving her to take a shower, you head out to the kitchen.

“Good morning Buck, Mister Rogers.” You nod to both men.

They smile back, Bucky good naturedly patting your shoulder as you pass by.

“Looks like you slept well.” Steve notes, earning a scoff and chuckle from Bucky.

“Or not at all.”

Wide eyed you look back at the man, who sports a knowing grin. Steve’s cheeks heat up and you refrain from retaliating to Bucky purely for his sake.

That doesn’t mean a comment isn’t made though.“ Jealous Rogers hasn’t put out yet?”

All eyes fall to Natasha as she comes in smirking at Bucky and winking at Steve. You sigh, shaking your head at the woman’s antics and focusing on making her something to eat.

As you cook, you engage in conversation with the three. They make it known that there’s been a spike in missions lately, something to do with some mad scientist over in California.

Setting a plate down in front of Natasha, you ask,“ so they’re just mass experimenting on people and there hasn’t been any news on it?”

They all raise their eyebrows at you as you sit to eat as well.“ What kind of news would you expect? It’s not like they’re interviewing the bad guy.”

“Well no, obviously, but if there’s suddenly a bunch of enhanced individuals tearing up the west coast I refuse to believe there are no reports on it. Some kid who saw them and posted about it, a family noticing their relative missing or showing abnormal abilities, hell a news report on some kind of superpowered mugger?” You explain yourself.

You may not be here as a superhero but you’ve seen the way the public reacts to them. When the Avengers came out there wasn’t a news station that didn’t cover their every move.

“She’s right,” Natasha nods,“ we keep looking at underground channels instead of plain ole media.”

Both men share a glance, Steve then leaning forward and looking at you,“ where would we start?”

A small chuckle leaves your lips,“ honestly, I’d go straight to social media. I don’t know what kind of programs or whatever you guys use but if you searched a particular word combination,” as you speak you go to wash up the few dishes you and Natasha had used,“ like superhuman + California it’s likely you’ll find something. Everything is always all over social media.”

“So-”

Natasha quickly cuts Steve off,“ okay okay she’s given us a lead, let’s talk about it with Tony.”

Both men nod, all of you understanding Natasha’s reasons for stopping it here: she doesn’t want you involved in this part of their work.

In one of your many moments of honesty she told you that she would rather you not get into that. The team already comes back from missions and lays all that on you and you’re of course in danger enough just living with them, knowing in depth mission details puts you further in danger and she refuses.

And you’d also told her you genuinely didn’t want to be that involved anyway. As cool as you’ve seen being an Avenger can be, you have no interest in actually being one. Their therapist is a position you’re more than happy to fill.

“Fellas, excuse us.” Natasha nods to them, taking your hand and pulling you back to your room.

You can’t help giggle when she pushes you on to the bed and goes right back to cuddling you like you hadn’t left the bed in the first place.

That’s where you both stay for the next few hours. Even when you decide to do something else she keeps you in her arms. While you play on your switch she watches over your shoulder, sporadically presses kisses to your neck, and asks what the heck it is you’re doing.

Until the time approaches for you to get ready for tonight. Pepper had insisted that the couples of your friend group go out for the night. First dinner and then going to a play Tony had scored tickets to.

Wanting to be comfortable and still formal, you decide to wear a black pant suit, the top you choose is a solid black bralette, and you pair it all with a simple pair of black heels.

“Zip me up?” Natasha steps out of the bathroom and turns her back to you.

As you do so, your eyes roam over her figure in the mirror. How she can make such a simple green dress look so beautifully elegant you don’t know but you love it.

“You look gorgeous, love.” You tell her, pressing a light kiss to her shoulder.

She smiles as she looks at you,“ as do you malyshka.”

Once you both have everything you need, you leave out. Bucky and Steve are waiting for the two of you by the door and together all of you climb into Bucky’s truck.

Everyone meets up at the restaurant and are seated after confirming that they’re a part of Tony’s dinner party.

Admittedly you weren’t too sure about this whole thing for a number of reasons, but your worries fade away throughout dinner.

There’s an amazing energy flowing through the group. It’s beyond entertaining to see the matching sass between Tony and Maria Rambeau. The woman is just as witty as Carol which makes their interactions with the billionaire very entertaining.

You find yourself jumping from about three different conversations, one being with Pepper, Laura, and Natasha, the other with Clint, Steve, and Bucky, and of course the one with Tony, Carol, and Maria.

Funnily enough, the first conversation sounds a lot like what you’d expect to hear from three wives, wine and partner complaints galore, with the guys it’s mainly sports(Bucky and Clint aren’t too happy about the MLB playoffs), and as mentioned, the last conversation is very sassy.

“-if I can fly my suits I think I can fly a fighter jet.” The man continues is his argument.

With a chuckle, you look at him pointedly,“ Tony, my friend, pick your battles,” then you take a bite of your dessert.

Natasha notices the way your eyes widen and you eagerly take another bite. Her elbow gently nudges you and when she gives the cutest little pout you know what she wants. So you scoop another piece of the food onto your spoon and hold it out to her.

A hum of approval leaves her and you smile, wiping a spot of chocolate off the corner of her lip, which elicits her to lean in and kiss you.

The bubble pops when Tony speaks,“ it’s like we aren’t even here.”

His words make your friends laugh, Pepper reaches over to smack his arm,“ pay him no mind, you two are adorable together.”

“Natasha and adorable? Never thought I’d see the day.” Tony further teases.

“Hey T, remember when you lost that bet to me and had to wear-”

“Aye aye okay,” he raises his hands in surrender,“ no more teasing I got it.”

Pepper covers her laugh with her hand, knowing exactly what you’re talking about, and everyone else looks at you and Tony expectantly. But you smoothly change the conversation and everyone soon moves past that moment.

Almost everybody.

It’s after you’ve sat down at the play venue that Natasha brings it back up.

The lights dim and she leans into your side, you wrap an arm around her, and the actors walk on to the stage to begin the play.

“Y/n,” she pokes your side making you look over at her, voice a whisper, she asks,“ what did Tony have to wear?”

Resisting the urge to laugh out loud, you lean over to whisper in her ear,“ assless chaps.”

Her jaw drops, the corners of her lips lifting in amusement,“ you’re kidding.”

You shake your head,“ it’s a long story but the moral of it is that Tony should not underestimate me.”

Even though your eyes are trained on the play you can feel Natasha still looking at you.

If you were looking at her though, you’d see stars in those green orbs. Better yet hearts. You would see how absolutely in love with you she is. And she genuinely can’t believe it.

Had anyone told her, when you walked through the compound doors, that she would’ve fallen in love with you she would’ve laughed. And she would’ve been more wrong than she ever had been in her life. Because here she is staring at you like a lovestruck idiot.

You’d managed to come in and completely flip her world upside down.

“Miss Romanoff, you’re missing the play.” A teasing smile masks your lips as you look down at her.

Before you can turn away, she’s gently grabbing your chin, and kissing you.

“Thank you.” Her breath fans your lips.

“For what?” You frown.

“For proving me wrong. At every turn. You’re the most incredible woman I’ve ever met-”

“Shhhhh.” A voice interrupts from behind you and you turn around to find a frowning, clearly pissed off, older man.

Locking eyes with him you whisper/yell,“ hey buddy my girl’s trying to profess her undying love for me, if you could just not butt in that’d be great.” With a thumbs up you turn back to Natasha,“ as you were saying.”

The woman shakes her head amusedly,“ I love you so fucking much.”

Even though you can tell she has more to say, it’s obviously not the best place for that. Besides you know the two of you have all the time in the world, so you simply kiss her again,“ I love you too.”

* * * * * *

taglist: @username23345 @muffliat-o @aaron-despair @natasha-danvers @wildhoney32 @criminallyhamilton @fayhar @nat-km-mh @chicken-wang09 @trikruismybitch

#natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff x reader #black widow #black widow x reader #marvel #marvel x reader #mcu #mcu x reader #reader insert #prove me wrong

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prophet-of-booba-lady · 3 years ago

Note

Hi!!! Can I have a matchup for Twilight and HTTYD ?

19, Southeast Asian with Spanish descent, Libra, Bi Pan and Genderfluid, short (5'1") and chubby with kinda cherubic-like face, medium brunette hair, chocolate brown eyes, oriental skin, and boyish-emo sense of fashion with korean makeup look.

Really quiet, soft spoken, distant, and timid around random people (to the point they think I'm modest, demure, immaculate, and educated) but once I finally open up it's totally opposite---super talkative, rowdy-mouthed, laughing loudly on a daily basis, creative, talented, expressive, swears like a sailor, very clumsy, witty, passionate, religious, very supportive, unfortunate, super childish, determined, thriving, speaks with sarcasms, has a lamest sense of humour, gets excited so easily, skittish, forgetful, and unashamed to be myself but can be awkward around the strangers. Nice and kind to good people, but an opposite who isn't

Opinionated and EXTREMELY COMPETITIVE, in terms of academics and extra curricular activities (even I'm a procrastinator---I still ace them like what kind of sorcery I did?) that's why I got frustrated and dissappointed quickly if I failed, because I thought people I know is pressuring me, but I tried to keep moving forward once I already cheered up.

I may come off as stubborn, feisty, tough, demanding, and harsh if I get really angry also demanding and intimidating if things aren't all right, but my deeper self is sensitive, insecure of my physical appearance (some people around me makes fun of it and it's rude), and fragile who cries easily also has strong beliefs and reasoning, like fighting for my dreams to the point it'll become a debate because of my brashness. But I'm also willing to help or give up something as long I can, they think I'm selfish, but not really---I do have biased sentimental value and I have a different way how do I care---by being supportive and giving gifts also teaching them, in addition I have an emotional overwhelm, I get flustered too quickly, blush on compliment, and melt over wholesomeness.

My interests are arts, choir, night sky, makeup, fun/deep/dumb conversations, Christianity, documentaries (about saints, real crime stories, and inspirational people), reading interesting stuffs, talking about social issues, and creative writings.

My hobbies are are singing, drawing, listening to music, chatting/browsing on social media, conceptualizing, writing, and reading some stuffs. I'll include making corniest jokes/puns, sleeping, and dancing when nobody's around or walking like a model if I feel so bold (even I'm terrible at both xD). I also used to learn Italian language a bit.

Ok I am so sorry this took me so long. I see small text and I go "oh no". But I need to stop being a sissy.

Emmett!

I feel like you and Jasper would probably be a power couple. The man has a lot of baggage but refused to dump it on you so he copes by doing fun things with you. When if comes down to beliefs... The man will also fight for your beliefs. He is 100000% ready to throw down with who ever disagrees with you. He values the time you spend with him but if you wanna be alone he will let you be alone. Please draw pictures for him he loves when you draw him pictures. I feel like this himbo can and would cheat at a game of baseball for you. Like he'd purposely miss catching a ball you hit so you can make it to a base and will tackle anyone in his family who attempts to get you out.

For HTTYD

Hiccup!

Hiccup is probably the most open minded of the men in berk. He takes what you say into consideration much better than most of the others. He doesn't understand Christianity but he will read the Bible for you and try and understand the religion. He isn't used to Monotheistic religions. Idk what to tell you. He doesn't help you train your dragon because your dragon would probably be a Razorwhip (which bond with their rider upon birth, so you kinda carted around a baby dragon on your back for a while but that's the vibe!) (You give me Razorwhip vibes I'm sorry if you don't like razor whips. Alternatively I feel like you and the light fury would get along well. Because she comes off as a strong female dragon who can and will boost yourself confidence. You 1000000% have a badass dragon.

I really hope you like this!! I have so many more match ups to complete lol

-The Prophet

#x reader #twilight #match up requests #match ups #twilight match up #HTTYD #HTTYD match up #Hiccup

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chemist-ana · 4 years ago

Text

Day 7 of #101Smiles is this risqué photo Ana decides to post of Sam... all in the name of the TNA theme right? I know I missed yesterday, but that was really because I have a life and I needed to take a day, HOWEVER, I have a super fun and delicious treat for you. I wrote a ficlet to go with this photo- how does the conversation go between Sam and Ana when she gets home AFTER posting this photo? Enjoy naughties.

A/N. Also- this is one of the first times that I intended this story to go in a different direction but Ana just had a different idea. It was really astonishing actually... she totally took over. Anyways... I will post it below, and also link it separately to put it in my Masterlist.

NSFW Content, WARNING. Language and Sexual Situations.

Word count: 1,050 (yes its 50 words too long to be a ficlet, but still worth the read)

I bite my lip and tap my finger on the side of my phone... it’s such a delicious picture... fuck it. The paparazzi already published photos of his smoking hot dad bod.

I press post and grin as the photo of a shirtless, bearded, Sam from our honeymoon pops onto my feed. My eyes slide down his sculpted chest to the towel that hangs low on his hips showing off his drool worthy sex lines.

“Earth to Ana?” My eyes snap up to Jenny who is giving me a wide eyed look as her eyes flick between her phone screen and my face. “I mean... I’m all about flaunting what you got... but something tells me Mr. Anti-Social Media is not going to like this...” she flips her phone around and shows me the photo I just posted on her feed.

I shrug my shoulders and set my phone down on the table in front of me. Jenny purses her lips, trying to hide her smile, as she shakes her head and sets her phone down.

“I’m sure I will find out soon enough.” My eyes shift to the remnants of my salad as I pick up my fork and take the last few bites.

The ping of my phone alerts me of a text... it’s from Sam. I can feel Jenny’s eyes on me as Sam and I text back and forth... about the photo.

“I should probably get going...” my eyes lift to find Jenny smiling.

“Go, I’ll take care of the check.”

“Thanks Jenn.”

“Mmmhm, good luck.”

I grab my LV Neverfull, stuffing my phone inside, and I hail a taxi to take me home.

***

I walk into the quiet penthouse and find Sam in the kitchen. He turns his gaze on me and the heat in his eyes makes me stop in my tracks. Oh he’s angry.

“After everything we went through with the tabloids, I thought you would understand the importance of our privacy and discretion.” His hands squeeze the counter top, his knuckles turning white.

“Sam, it’s a photo on my private account. And it’s nothing that everyone hasn’t already seen.” Maybe not so much of that V… but oh well…

He takes long strides until he is right in front of me. I reach up to press my palms to his chest and he grabs my wrists, preventing me from touching him, his breath heavy and the tension rolling off of his body.

“Sam… what’s so bad about flaunting what you have? You have the most beautiful body I have ever seen…” My eyes slowly slide down his chest and he loosens his hold on my wrists. “I just like to show everyone else what I get to have everyday for the rest of my life…”

“While I appreciate the compliment, you know that’s not what it’s about.”

“Then tell me… what is it about?” I look up into his dark brown eyes beneath my eye lashes but his tension doesn’t subside. Damn that usually works…

“The fact that you even need to ask that is the problem, Ana. You know how people treat the Dalton name, this photo is too much, you need to take it down.”

“Sam…”

“Please, take it down.” His fingers tighten around my wrists which elicits a different response than he was probably hoping for. I lick my lips and I hear his breath hitch.

“I know what you are trying to do, and it’s not going to work. You really want your family seeing that?” His voice husky.

“I have nothing to hide… and neither do you.” My voice drops as I try to move my hands back to his chest, and this time he lets me. He drops his hold on my wrists and narrows his eyes at me. I see his determination start to waver. I run my palms across the planes of his abs and feel the muscles ripple underneath. I see his Adams apple rise and fall. My hands continue down until I feel the bulge that is growing in his jeans and I give it a squeeze.

“Are you sure it’s not working, Mr. Dalton?” My eyes meet his and his eyes are hooded and dark with desire.

“This conversation isn’t over.” He grabs the back of my neck and kisses me hard as he takes a step forward and sandwiches me between him and the counter, our kisses urgent and raw. His hands travel down my curves, squeezing my breast, until he grabs my thighs and effortlessly lifts my body up until my ass is on the cold marble counter.

“God, Ana, I am addicted to you.” His lips leave mine as his hands travel back up, pulling my dress down to expose my tender, aching, breasts. He takes my left breast into his hand, pinching my nipple into a stiff peak. My head lulls back as a soft moan escapes my lips. “I’m addicted to the way you smell.” His nose travels along my jaw until he rests a soft kiss below my ear. He squeezes my breast again. “I’m addicted to the way you taste.” His mouth travels to my right breast, taking my nipple between his lips and sucking hard. Another small moan escapes my lips.

“And that. That sexy little sound you make when you want me inside of you.” He reaches down under my dress and grabs my thong, ripping it from my body. He presses his hips forward and I can feel his erection through his pants. I reach up under his shirt, my fingers finding purchase on the strong muscles of his back. I hear him lower the zipper of his jeans. “I’m addicted to every single inch of your body, baby.”

Without warning he thrusts his hips forward, filling me. “Every. Single. Fucking. Inch.” He accentuates each word with a deeper thrust of his hips.

“Oh, god. Sam!” I cry out as my fingers claw at his back. My senses, overwhelmed, all that exists is Sam. His lips meet mine again with heated kisses as his hands travel down my back, gripping my ass and pulling me deeper onto his throbbing erection. I let myself get completely lost in the moment. I let myself get lost in him, because that is where I always feel at home. The photo be dammed.

Tag list: @genevievemd @txemrn @thefrenchiemama @mainstreetreader @somersetmummy @lady-calypso @lucy-268 @shewillreadyou @itsjustwinter @jennieausten @melalicious8383

Let me know if you want to be added to the tag list!

#101smiles #choicestna #tna sam dalton #the nanny affair

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